Ok watched and listened, some more feedback, broken down bit by bit to the parts I think are the more problematic.
(06-22-2014, 02:20 PM)Dave.Synk Wrote: Cerberus was initially founded on the 31st of June, 816 AS by ex-BAF Commander Jack Aubrey and his fellow libertonian friend, Dr. David Tyberius Synk. Both funding an intricate new idea among the Omicron’s main law enforcers, The Order. The group was aimed towards a black-ops para-military organization which expanded the Order’s jurisdiction into their own unique ideal. To protect all borders of Sirius space from imminent threats and to keep the balance within the sector.
So far so good, "new idea" and "unique" offers promise.
Quote: Presumably this goal to be achieved, Cerberus exploited their allegiance with the Order to pursue more the mysteries and secrets of the K’Hara.
Allied to Order or part of? Precision here would help. Are you a spliter of Order outlook or some loose ally? If ally does Order know?
Quote:After Aubrey’s catastrophic death, Dave took command of Cerberus for 2 years as he slowly began to be more intrigued about this possible peace between the K’Haras and Humans. So he departed the sector far from it, in hope to find his answer over there.
Peace as a way of protecting humankind?
Quote:Cerberus had an attempt to contact the Council deep within Galia to make something similar to a Coup D’Etat in order to dismantle the Gallic government and overthrow the blood-thirsty King.
This just seems like a random out of context inclusion. Why would they have any interest in Gallic politics?
Quote:After a long period of absence, Cerberus is re-organized again and their role within Sirius will reach far beyond their initial goals. With more support and with a greater cause, Cerberus will take it’s title as Vanguards of Mankind.
Goals still not clear.
Vanguard is probably not the best word as it generally carries implications of conquest whereas you seem to be wanting to protect humankind via peace.
Quote: A precise goal to describe Cerberus is not clear since their activity is reported to be versatile and dynamic, depending on their needs and on their priorities. The ones that are presented upper are part of their agenda.
Maybe being more precise here would help.
So are you Order following the defense of mankind - using peace if necessary.
Or are you Order| with the more exterminate mentality.
Or are you not Order in any real sense?