Okay, you seem to have gotten rid of all those symbols, except for the periods which you have increased tenfold. I..... don't..... know..... you..... but..... I'd..... have..... one..... hell..... of..... a..... time..... reading..... this. And so would other players. Don't separate every word. Use an ellipsis (...) when you need to separate two phrases or add some pause.
Enough with the visual aspect, let's see the content: Nomad speech is not "Tarzan english". You can't just delete some words here and there and call it a day. Nomad is more like symbolic english, with some minor changes. Snoopy already mentioned the possessive pronouns thing, and you're already doing it. Good. Be more visual and/or poetic when you talk about things. This can take time so it's not urgent , for now.
In short: Drop the infinite periods, make phrases more complete. Use the symbol guide that Snoopy gave you, or make up your own meanings for some symbols, but don't exaggerate. You can check other logs for inspiration or guidelines.
![[Image: lKTnYgl.png]](http://i.imgur.com/lKTnYgl.png)