I'm going to leave this thread to protect my sanity, but offer one single thing here:
If you're going to play a character in a Roleplaying game, regardless of it's nature, be it dice, Screen, keyboard or whatever, you have to learn to seperate yourself from the character you're playing. If you fail to do that, you're playing yourself and will get butthurt about being ganked, because in the safe environment your armchair provides you feel obliged that this game gives you a fair chance of winning. Once you seperated the two entities, however, you can learn how to have fun while being immersed - you try to find inRP justifications and solutions rather than ooRP complaints, and in the end you will have an enjoyable experience.
This, in fact, does not mean that the latter approach (neglecting RP) is wrong, it's just not RP. Once you try searching for ooRP reasoning for anything that happened to you inRP, you make a conscious decision that staying true to Roleplay and in character is secondary. This might be something that you can do and want to do, and I'm not going to be the judge about it being right - in its context it might certainly be fun - but what it isn't is Roleplay. So you can either go out and say that this is not a Roleplay server, which would be justified judging by the amount of people who don't want to do it, or you can accept that Roleplay is not about what you want, it's about what your character wants. Both are valid, but stop searching for a middle ground. There is none.