I'm not sure if this is the right place to report this (since clearly it's working for everybody else), but the problem only started after the second rollback and restart this morning. When I run the launcher, it crashes with no error message as soon as it starts trying to download the latest patch from the server.
When I went to bed, the server was down so people wouldn't waste their time in anticipation of a second rollback, and both the launcher and singleplayer worked. I woke up, restarted the launcher, and it didn't work anymore.