The Lane Hackers | Internal Comms

[Brutus Clay]

...hack.initiated...connecting.to.Spyglass.Network...decryption.in.progress...
...Professor.Brutus.Clay.recognized...encoding.transmission...
...uploading.data...

Dear colleagues,

Recently, while I was travelling between our bases of operation, I came across a duo of Xenos. While I was met with the hostility one would expect from such backward troglodytes, they obviously had no idea they were dealing with a member of the Professorship. This allowed me to test the waters somewhat.
See for yourselves:

Communications Log

[14.03.2019 16:02:13] LH~Wardriver: Well fancy that.
[14.03.2019 16:02:28] XA-"Night": That's my line, son.
[14.03.2019 16:02:55] LH~Wardriver: Didn't mean to infringe on your copyright.
[14.03.2019 16:03:01] XA-Lyre: Now what is a hacker doing in Xeno territory.
[14.03.2019 16:03:09] XA-"Night": Hacker.
[14.03.2019 16:03:30] LH~Wardriver: Xeno territory? I admire your gusto, but this is just another system to me.
[14.03.2019 16:03:37] XA-"Night": What business have you got here? Apart from being all the way drugged up.
[14.03.2019 16:03:44] LH~Wardriver: I'm simply patrolling between our bases.
[14.03.2019 16:03:58] XA-"Night": Your bases are in Galileo, not here.
[14.03.2019 16:04:18] XA-Lyre: Kid, you got your head all messed up.
[14.03.2019 16:04:21] LH~Wardriver: Did you miss the part where I said "between"?
[14.03.2019 16:04:39] LH~Wardriver: That implies travelling through systems.
[14.03.2019 16:05:24] LH~Wardriver: Either way...
[14.03.2019 16:05:28] XA-"Night": Right...
[14.03.2019 16:05:30] XA-Lyre: Lissen, fella.
[14.03.2019 16:05:35] XA-Lyre: I want your cardamine.
[14.03.2019 16:05:43] XA-"Night": You what?
[14.03.2019 16:05:45] LH~Wardriver: The audacity!
[14.03.2019 16:05:56] XA-"Night": I wanna destroy that crap.
[14.03.2019 16:06:26] XA-Lyre: You're gonna hand it over.
[14.03.2019 16:06:27] LH~Wardriver: Can I interest you in my portable plasma shotgun instead? I had it custom made on Mactan.
[14.03.2019 16:06:30] XA-Lyre: Or I'll take it from you.
[14.03.2019 16:06:47] LH~Wardriver: Tsk tsk. I don't respond well to threats.
[14.03.2019 16:06:57] XA-"Night": Plasma shotgun?
[14.03.2019 16:07:07] XA-"Night": Hmm, i've always been a fan of weapons myself.
[14.03.2019 16:07:28] LH~Wardriver: Yes, powerful enough to blast a hole in any station's hull, to be used with care.
[14.03.2019 16:07:48] XA-Lyre: Alright, you know what.
[14.03.2019 16:07:51] XA-Lyre: I'm in a good mood today.
[14.03.2019 16:08:02] XA-"Night": Me too.
[14.03.2019 16:08:05] XA-Lyre: Hand over that gun instead, and leave the system.
[14.03.2019 16:08:10] XA-"Night": I'm interested in that shotgun.
[14.03.2019 16:08:13] XA-Lyre: Refuse and you'll hit the hammer.
[14.03.2019 16:08:19] LH~Wardriver: I wouldn't usually just give it away, but seeing as there are hints of warming up in our relations...
[14.03.2019 16:08:45] LH~Wardriver: Again, I don't respond well to threats. But I'll just assume that's because you're really eager to get your hands on it.
[14.03.2019 16:08:54] XA-"Night": As long as you don't screw us over, we will be fine, Hacker.
<Transfer of one unit of Black Market Munitions>
[14.03.2019 16:09:17] XA-Lyre: Now continue to whatever hell-hole you were going to.
[14.03.2019 16:09:35] XA-Lyre: I don't want to see your face here again.
[14.03.2019 16:09:49] LH~Wardriver: Be careful with that, I'd hate to read the news that you've accidentally caused an explosive decompression somewhere.
[14.03.2019 16:10:00] XA-"Night": Not without a good reason anyway.
[14.03.2019 16:10:21] LH~Wardriver: Farewell, then.
[14.03.2019 16:10:27] XA-Lyre: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
[14.03.2019 16:10:40] LH~Wardriver: Next time you threaten me, I'll have your brains fried.
[14.03.2019 16:10:58] XA-"Night": Details details.
[14.03.2019 16:11:04] XA-Lyre: I will keep that in mind next time I see you, kid.

As you can see, the Xenos seem to retain their irrational hatred for anything remotely enjoyable or profitable, Cardamine included. However, like the obnoxious little magpies they are, they can easily be distracted and placated by a shiny trinket.
This seems to be the best method of dealing with them, short of the aforementioned frying of the brains.

...encryption.in.progress...disconnecting.from.network...hack.terminated...

---

The Lane Hackers | Radio Free Liberty

"My dear fellow, who will let you?"
"That’s not the point. The point is, who will stop me?"

Information • Recruitment • Diplomatic Channel • Job Board • Encyclopedia • External Statements