Recruitment office of the Brotherhood ([TBH])

[FallenKnight]

Full Name: Pita "La Aspiradora" Ladron

Age: 27

Your skills:
- Removing any quantity of food present on a table with efficiency that everyone would envy about.
- Has 750 hours spent in desperation to enter inside the small Ladron's retro TITAN -combat simulator machine.
- Has 350 hours spent inside the Ladron's retro TITAN - combat simulator machine.
- Has 200 hours trying to break out from the Ladron's retro TITAN - combat simulator machine.
- Over 500 hours playing the video game "The Return of the IMPERATOR Gunboat".
- Several failed attempts to pirate a group of Clydesdales during a tutorial exam "How to Pirate In Dublin" in the school of Crete.
- Successfully managing to crush first all the pinatas on several parties without killing anyone during the initial charge of the competitions.
- Eating all candies from these pinatas without allowing anyone in the parties to even touch a single lolipop or a bonbon.

Reason why you chose us:
- Tired to sit in her cave in the distant desert of Crete all alone.
- Looking for her father.
- Mucho Macho Ladron's Family Reasons.
- Children must learn from their dads how to continue the family business even if it's not what you've dreamed to do.

Your biography (at least 10 lines):

Long ago in the distant, unknown, unexplored and who knows what else deserts of planet Crete, hidden from the eyes of the local people was located a small cave in the middle of nowhere. The first man to step on this unholy ground was Columbus...wait that's another story...The first man to stomp his foot at the sands of this forsaken desert was mucho macho El Comisario Pepe Ladron. The reason for his sudden arrival was natural need...to reduce the steam or simply put - he had to pee and else. He believed here in this mysterious place - nobody would see his macho behind-ero. He never could realize how wrong he actually was to even believe that.

The small cave was not abandoned as he first thought. It was a magic cave. Deep underground before hundreds of years the ancient creators of Sirius Sector had stored countless of artifacts which could bring a lot of credits to those lucky enough to discover, transport and sell them to a crazy collector, an evil scientist or just to planet Manhattan because of the Best Sell Prices. But that was not all. That small cave was the "home" of an outcast...no...not those from Malta but simply put an "outcast" - like a homeless-man. Or a homeless-woman...

Mucho Macho Ladron-ero parked outside the cave his mighty damaged and paint scratched Titan (do not be fooled of the name of the ship. It is actually quite a small vessel. Nobody knows what the ship would like to compensate with its strange name and hopefully nobody would ever know) He jumped off the cockpit at the sands, resulting in a massive earthquake which shock waves could be seen from space. After the sand in the air found its place back on the ground it was smashed by the machos feet, as he was moving swiftly, as quickly as he could, in the direction of the cave. Mother Nature was pressing him on...he was growing a tail.

Sadly, the shock waves - signaling for his sudden arrival - have awakened the "beast" of the small cave. It was Her...the never satisfied nymphomaniac...Lily. She knew no light for the sun was too bright and outside was too hot for her liking. Instead she preferred to remain deep underground and await her preys like a spider in a web. The deeper the cave...the longer to get out. The more time her victims would have to please her twisted desires before they are set free - one way or another - to see the sun once again.

Unsuspecting of what terrors would await him, Ladron kept running as faster as his legs would allow him. Even though he parked outside the cave's entrance - it took him several minutes to get inside the cave. But he did not stop there for Mother Nature did not stop to harshly press on with her desire to see him embarrassed with dirty tainted pants. Ladron could hear her thoughts..."What was your breakfast Macho? And the lunch? And the dinner? I want to see them now!" Running like that he managed to go deeper in the cave's tunnel. There he found the perfect spot to honor his behind-ero dire need of rest. And so he began.

In this time, in one of the dark corners of the cave, right in front of him - SHE was standing still like a huge piece of rock - a nice camouflage - superior to most cloaking devices even the Nomads would envy her subtlety skills. Lily was observing the hot macho in his not so hot dire situation. She was amazed how cool he was and as a typical nymphomaniac - she did not pick her victims at all - whatever Mother Nature brings - she takes with open arms and desires. As a skillful assassin she began to move slowly until the bare light inside the tunnel could reveal her greatness and sex-appeal.

Mucho Macho Ladron was shocked of this sudden view that was clouded by the presence of the massive woman. It was too late for him and due to forum limitations and language I would simply stop here without going in details about the horrors and twisted desires the poor macho had to overcome in order to receive his freedom back. A minute of silence for our destroyed brother...

Barely able to move Pepe Ladron was crawling like a worm for hours until he could reach his rusty Titan, parked outside The Cave of Horrors. He had no strength to climb back to the ship's cockpit but the memories of what he had endured suddenly provided him with the adrenaline to perform a jump right on top of his Titan seat. Without a moment of hesitation he fired the engines of the ship and flew away. "Never again...Never again! I will NEVER again miss the chance to use the public toilet! I will pay the old grannies asking me for money to pee or whatnot...but I will NEVER AGAIN go to this forsaken desert or any deserts in this case to perform natural needs!"

These three days of love - as Lily used to call them or the three days of terror - as Pepe used to call them - provided both of them, without macho knowing it - with a child. Ten months after the holy trio - Lily gave birth to a baby girl, which she named Pita.

Lily and her daughter Pita were digging underground, below the Cave of Horors, for some artifacts. During the years the small cave made a name as a place for super rare alien fosils and artifacts. Several black market smugglers knew about that and were constantly returning for more cargo. They enslaved Lily and Pita and forced them to work constantly. Due to their strength and massive size they were able to both dig a new tunnel, form it nicely and roundly, and to consume the sacred artifacts inside them by swallowing them. Later to spill them out, cleanse them and gave them away to the smugglers for free. Lily was hoping the super macho hero of her stories - the love of her life to return and save her from this misery...but mucho macho never came back. They were all alone. If we don't count the thousands of the artifacts of course.

One day the smugglers did not return. Two days they did not return. It happens to be a week....then a month. Were they really gone? Dead maybe? Maybe.

Lily was tired of all these years of work. She wanted to do something else so she started to make portraits of her love - the angel that never came back. The portraits were like an icon to pray in front of them. She made dozens of them all representing her small macho cutie little conejo - she used to call him like that during their spent time (the unholy trio days).

Several months later out of sadness she died leaving Pita alone with nothing else than a simple note packed properly in a small chest. Before she hit the bell she gave Pita the key for this chest with the words: "If you want to kill the man used to be your father or to smear some nutella on slices of bread with him - call this number. It is locked in the holy chest below the biggest portrait near the toilet." Then she hit the bell and that's it.

Pita approached the holy chest...opened it and took the sacred note...it was a newspaper part but doesn't matter - it was a holy relic left from her deceased mama. The number presumably her father's, was written poorly and barely visible. She tried to memorize these numbers for several minutes. And then she ate the note for there was no food left in the cave. Pita took all of her belongings and items she could create by herself and store over all these years - her only backpack and a long stick (from those you use to assist while walking) with a rabbit's head on top (Lily made this long ago, not Pita - as and ultimate remembrance for her CONEJO Macho.) Pita was infused with determination - to find her papito...and power - from the newspaper note she ate before a minute. There was no force in Sirius to stop her massive...desire to find her father and to become like him - an angel of hope...an icon...an example of a real man - a true Macho. No...she was going to become Mach-eta.

But...actually there was a force in Sirius to prevent her from even starting this endeavor...Before she hit the bell - Lily wanted to observe the last view of Hope - the horizon where the Macho's TITAN was parked 27 years ago - in front of the cave and then she died with a smile. Unluckily for Pita...mama's corpse was lying in the entrance of the cave and it was impossible to move her away...Pita cursed her father and moved slowly towards her mother's corpse.

Somewhere in the unknown deserts of Crete, from an abandoned gas station the following phone call message was sent towards the main city of planet Crete. And Pita's story begins.

D.I.S.C.O.R.D. Protocol: FallenKnight#7131

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Discovery Bridges[Feedback] Baron Piett[Biography]