"Pfft, pfft, is this bloody thing on is it? Oh, righty then...
'Allo guv, me name is Mudge. I've been diggin through scrap an' other junk around Sigma-13 fer a while now, fightin' of Wilde nutbags an' other Nomad infest scum.
Over time I kept some o' the best bits, namely a couple o' Nommy Blaster I've jury-rigged onto me ship. I had 'em scraped clean o' bugs an' wotnot, and they served me well ever since.
But dont let anyone tell ya that 'Ol Mudge dont pay his dues! I can wire yer Arizona the 5 million credits right now if ye like.