INCOMING TRANSMISSION
COMM ID: Commissar-Lieutenant Commander Vicenta Gonzalez, Provost Marshal's Office
LOCATION: Zhukovsky Station
It looks like I'll have to go to Mykolaiv again. Some traitorous slimeball has evidently been spiking the vodka with mind-altering substances. Substances even more mind-altering than the vodka.
Incidentally, I was called away from training today after one of the Zhukovsky maintenance crews reported seeing a bomb go off. I proceeded to the area in question, where it transpired that the "bomb" was, in fact, a toaster.
I have since executed the maintenance crew responsible for crimes against the Coalition including rank stupidity and not being able to tell a bomb from their own backsides. I do not know where we hire these people from, comrades, but we need to find another source.