Evangeline Anastasia McDowell

[Bazza]

Entry#: 112
Date: 28 - 07 - 818 AS @ 20:42 SUT
Title: Untitled.

Near-as-makes-no-difference a fortnight. Feels like an entire lifetime.

Felicia is dead. Lost in an invasion into Texas. At least in so far as I've been informed. As is always the case here, information is spread on a need-to-know basis only. They won't tell me exactly what happened in Texas beyond the fact Felicia's ship was lost.

She should never have flown in her condition. I did all that I could to stop her getting away, but it wasn't enough. Felicia took off in her ship barely moments after waking up from her coma.

I tried chasing her in the Alsatia. I got as far as Hamburg orbit before losing her. She flew into a massive armada of ships, my lack of any real scanning technology letting me down as she become unrecognisable inside the array of fighters, bombers and capital vessels sitting in high orbit over Hamburg.

The last thing I said to her over the broadcast channel before turning back was "I'll see you on the other side". It'll be a while before that happens, though.

Really there isn't anything for me to do but sit around and wait out my baby's term. Not that I really want to do anything. I especially don't want to admit to anyone I found myself wondering if my life was even worth living earlier. The last thing Felicia said to me was that "none of this was my fault". As if I'm to believe that. Regardless of what she tells me I was still the catalyst for the cluster-**** of these past two months. Getting over it is one matter, but forgetting it ever happened is another altogether.

Nonetheless, for better or worse this chapter of my life ends here. Gunther made me realise that wallowing in depression isn't good for anyone around me. Misaka, for one, has been through just as much as I have over the last two months. Lord knows she needs more love than I do. Sakura, too, hasn't been her usual beaming self since this all started and I find myself missing her normally adorable nature.

Gunther is on a tour of duty somewhere, as to be expected of the Admiral. I feel like disappearing for a couple days. He can't miss me if he never knows I left. I should go blow the cobwebs off of the Maelstrom - rather - check to make sure she's still where I left her. The old girl hasn't had much love since I abandoned her at Vieques.

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