To: Sirius

[RockCrystal]

=Incoming Commercial Transmission=

Hey there everybody! I'm Dr. Phil... wait, no I'm not. Let me try that again.
Hey there everybody! I'm Peter Kristall! You might remember me from such classics as 'Big Bully: All Mako, No Brains' and 'Aperture Science 2: The Cake is a Lie!'.
Right now, for my own personal viewing pleasure, I'm putting together a map of Sirius! That's right, a COMPLETE map of Sirius, in every detail.
Unfortunately, some mean grouchy people won't let me into their systems! That's no good! Fortunately, I'm good at getting into and out of places like these. But, I would like to make my job at least halfway easier. SO!
Here's what I propose: If you let me into YOUR Guard system today, your maps won't go to anyone but me, AND I'll go scout out one system of the enemy of your choice for you! Aren't I nice!
Uh... now what am I forgetting... Oh, that's right!
=Replies heavily encrypted=
So, transmit those permissions to me today! After all... I'm a Nice Guy ™

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Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
J.M. Barrie