Evangeline Anastasia McDowell

[Bazza]

Entry#: 122
Date: 11 - 11 - 818 AS @ 19:20 SUT
Title: Untitled.

It is now vividly clear that those above me in the Military are insistent on Hartmann's death being swept under a carpet and hopefully forgotten about. It is my strong suspicion that someone has written her off as "lost in combat", the girl's parents no doubt informed that Erica was killed in a furious battle with the brutal "insert Corsair/Hessian/Libertonian/Alien" forces protecting the Bundesrepublic Rheinland.

I know what happened. Gunther knows it too... so why does he permit Felicia to fly still? Despite her condition, despite what she's done - I would call it treason.

I saw her attempt to kill another officer on a so-called "training simulation" - except of course training with live rounds in a real ship. She hid it behind a façade of rude denial when it failed but I knew she wanted blood. Why was she outside of a padded cell?

She needs help... and to be made to recompense for what she did.

This inaction. It's infuriating.

I wish I had killed her when I had the chance to. In front of Pacifica Base... holding the lives of half the Unioner movement against that of Felicia. Why did I bother? After all that she has done to not only me, but my friends and everyone around her. I regret not taking action when I could. I thought I thought she was still a "friend" to me.

I was, of course, very wrong.

Whatever bearing we had together is now forfeit. Lost to whatever resides within her mind now.

People I talk to have no idea what happened. Some of them look at me with a confused, thoughtful expression; most just tell me I'm making up stories. Very few believe that Felicia is a murderer.

Killing an enemy in the heat of battle is one thing. You can be forgiven for that, over time. What cannot be forgiven is spilling the blood of your own people.

I keep telling myself that I am in no condition to be stepping into this mess any further. I have too many lives depending on me to get myself killed at her hands now. Of special import is the life of my little girl. I can't jeopardise the life of someone who hasn't even seen the universe yet.

I suspect I'm going to have more than one "superior" looking over my shoulder if I raise the issue. There is a reputation and appearances of the Military to be maintained. Something like this breaking out would be problematic for them and dangerous for me.

But, inaction just isn't my thing now - nor has it ever been. There may only be a little I can do but I'll be damned if I don't do it.

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