Liberty Police, Inc. Applications Office

[Dieter Schprokets]

I see you've met my goodie-two-shoes brother, John.

Nice guy, for when you need that sort of thing.

That's all right for the jaywalkers and the petty grafters, but when you are trying to take down several separate gangsters at once, and getting in so deep that "right" and "wrong" meet in the middle, make funky love and sprout a baby called "shades of grey", and the dirtiest women are trying to feed you lines of cardi while spanking you with a two-by-four called "Justice", and your partner takes a round in the eye because some cranked-out Gaian thought your sidearm was a lighter...

Where the hell was I? Oh yeah.

I'd like to be assigned to Vice because drugs that are taken off the street can't be mailed to kiddies at their preschools something something.

By that I mean I am looking forward to serving in this unit, minimizing collateral damage (THIS time, I guess) and regularly taking my medicine so as to keep the nagging inside voices on track and less homicidal.

Remember, I have seen and done things that would make most men crazy, but I have kept on the straight and level, and my therapist says my post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms have gone from "disturbing" to "distressing", which my paperboy says is like being moved from the "yellow" into the "green".

If you will excuse me, I have some <strike>stillettos to try on</strike> paperwork to do.

Sergeant Tim Horton

---