I've been tired when this whole thing started already. And when the call came to relocate I've hesitated, so I'm at Trafalgar now. I'm not going to join up with the rest. It's not my place to be there, and this isn't my war.
You know, I've heard some of the messages, the speeches. I've heard Razin's words. "Keep together, and don't loose sight of our goals." he said. I've been asking myself what those goals are, comparing them to what they were. And I've been remembering the Volkhan's words and just how true they were.
Regardless of what the Volkhan did, I'm unable to just blindly follow and dismiss it all as untrue, and unable to just do as said when all I can see of our "goals" right now encompasses more slaughter and bloodshed among our own. It's not what I ever signed up for, not what I wanted, expected, even dreamed of.
And I still only managed to catch a glimpse here and there of what's going on, between me spending hours trying to find rest and working on machinery in the last days... weeks. I don't know where this is all going to be honest. And I know it's going to be disappointing to hear, but, I don't really care that much at this point, because I know it's going where I don't really want it to go.
So that's about it. I'm going, getting out of here. I'll see about finding a safe refuge somewhere for the time being, until the storm's over maybe and yeah, I'll be there if needed, just don't count on me taking up arms against our own again.
Before I forget, about two weeks ago when we were still aboard Toronto, before we got kicked out, that one day you got, y'know, upset and walked off, one of Volkhan's men approached me afterwards. I don't know who he was, just know what he said and did, and what he offered. You can figure out what I'm talking about. I'll hold onto it for now until you need it, and then just holler I guess.
And no, the thought of... well using it, it's not crossed my mind. Would be just as wrong as shooting our own.
Anyway, I'll get going. Good luck.###E[color=#FF4400]R[color=#FF3300]ROR###