*The image is a blur as two figures spin and duck around the camera lens. They are laughing and obviously not fully clothed. Soon enough a familiar face escapes from his female companion's d?colletage*
'Oi! Its Eddie! Bugger I've been caught up in sommat lately... or someone...'
the girl pipes in 'bugger? we havent done that yet!'
'shhhh darling, I'm talking to some freaks and I need to match to their level, me being a freak and all too. OKAY! So yea... I've been a bit protracted in my absense from space as of late and Eris seems to have collided me with this Jezebel here. So uhh.... I'll be back soon and when I do come back don't mind the scars okay, she didnt mean it she just gets really emotional in uh... the act...'
*more laughing and tumbling and the camera is knocked to the floor amid a shriek, certainly from Eddie*
Well, lads, I'm certainly glad to hear you're all having fun and getting your tubes cleaned, while my good name and that of TAZ is being besmirched and dragged through every gutter in Sirius. Enjoy it while you can.
Your ol' Episkopos has been "smoking more, and enjoying it less", as the old tobacco jingle went. Forgotten a few of my own Pair o'digms, I did.
Time for this Pineal to return to Goddess' Geode and recharge.
Reggie will be looking after the store; and if anything dastardly needs sweeping off the Zoner Council floor, I'm trusting Reggie to do it, assisted ably by the shenanigans of you all.
Don't give their reality tunnels a moment's peace, lads and lasses. Change the one-way signs to the other way. Put up strange graffitis that will have them scratching their procrastinatin' noggins. They may actually be used as something other than hat racks, eh?
Sophie, start charging those blokes rent for that Council Chamber, or have 'em move the circus to the next town. Talk about yer monkey motions! Goddess bless their little primate heads, anyway. And they can damn well start payin' for the pie and coffee, too.
Just so you all know, the Hellfire Legion is behind this "Nomad" business; especially that Denelo Mori tosser. They can deny it til they're blue in the face; but I've got incontrovertible proof. After cooling down a bit, I'm actually laughing my wrinkled arse off over the scam they're trying to pull on the Zoners.. raising our angst levels until we rush blindly to the rescue of Freeport 11. Well, I sez if Jinx felt it necessary to evacuate the place and put the metalheads in charge; then we can just see how well she and they can aim those nice station defenses.
Steer clear of the area, steer clear of anyone trying to sell you magic beans or stories of Nomad invasions, and keep those Pineals shiney!
Thursday nights in Baffin, I'm reviving an ancient Terran tradition. It's called "Pinochle", and I play for high stakes, so bring your wallets. Drop on by whenever you're around. Laser-etch your name in one of Shasta Outpost's girders.
This is Captain Ricky Ross of the Luxury Liner Greenleaf. I hear that a certain Reginald "Pops" Waverly might be intersted in an addition to his exotic herb collection. I would like to invite him, and any other that might be interested, to come aboard the Greenleaf, to test and take a loot at my GALEM. Grade A Luxurious Earth Marijuana holds some very specific charateristics, its will give you the rest you have been looking for, it has the ability to cure many common deceases.
Also i would like to request or buy a sample of the Kalisti Gold that i hear of. It seems to be very similar to what i grow, this sounds tempting enough.
I will be in close range of Planet Gran Canaria untill i hear from the TAZ. Thank you for your precious time and untill next time.
"War. War never changes. Since the dawn of human kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing power of rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything, from God to justice to simple, psychotic rage."
Message to: [TAZ]Malaclypse
Comm ID: [TAZ]Sylvia-23
*Well, Boss,*
*You need to trade in your rusty "pair o' digms" for a plugged wooden nickle, Mal. That Nomad threat you've been pooh pooh'ing is real enough to have blown one of my darn wings off today!
*Ya see, I was haulin' supplies to Freeport 11 and jumped in from the Unknown to Delta. I darn near jumped right inside that big blue tub, the Harbinger.
*Well, I jammed the Beetle's pedal to the floor, metaphorically speakin', and screamed bloody murder for help over system comms. The Persephone lifted from 11 and started a sweep while I docked and unloaded my supplies.
*She sighted the pooter, and about the same time I noticed an AW in Theta, the Denicalus; so I hailed him to come join the fun! I then got coords from Jinx, and set off to join up with her, but the darn Nomad sorta ran off at that point.
*I decided that my Kusari beetle was worse than useless if I was gonna help any, so I popped over to Toledo and picked up a Nepthys; but their selection of weps sucked! Not even a decent item for my torp slot! But, you know me, I'm young and impetuous, so I beat globe back to Delta.
*Eris was havin' fun with me, cuz the minute I popped in, there was the Harbinger again about 5K off. I squirted my location to the Denicalus, and the two of us were soon flyin' around that big blue thing tryin' our best to do some damage. Mysteriously, the Persephone had disappeared, just when we coulda used her help! Is that woman purposely tryin' to avoid getting her Juggy's paint scratched?
*Well, I held in with the AW guy until I was down to a few bots, and was missin' that wingtip and a few weps I mentioned earlier. I didn't figure floating around in an escape pod would do anyone much good, so I broke off and headed for Freeport 11. At least we managed to keep the Harbinger busy for awhile, and away from the Freeport.
*I may be the youngest "girl" in the TAZ, Boss, but I hope you don't mind sayin' that they got a problem over here; and they're gonna need a bit more than a few Order VHF's to get it under control. I'd be callin' in a few markers if I were you!
*I'll stay here at FP 11 for now. Get your Pineal in gear and noodle somethin' out, mkay?
You're just like your mother, Fiona. She never had a problem speaking her mind either. However, I acknowledge that my cynicism was overblown in this instance. I've sent a message to Chairman Ike, indicating that the JG should be allowed to go to Jinx's aid until we can get a few TAZ with some muscle over there.
You were brave taking on that BS in a VHF with a lousy loadout, Sylvia. Get your weps sorted out, and help out with patrols in Delta, but don't be putting your globe in jeapordy again until a few more folk are there to back you up. We love ya too much to lose ya again.
Malaclypse to Ricky Ross:
Sir, I will pass your message to Reggie. Our policy is normally not to sell or distribute Kallisti Gold to anyone but practicing Discordians, for religious purposes only. I will defer to Reggie on the matter, however. I won't be able to visit your "operation", but perhaps he'll be able to find the time to visit.
Mal to all TAZ:
Ok, kiddies. Continue with relief supplies to Freeport 11, but watch your butts over there. Until those new vessels get through testing, we're kinda stuck for "muscle". I have however placed advance orders for us on both Corfu and Planet Kurile. Check out the specs on their new offerings on DPvP, frequency 48.42.
And finally,
Malacypse, TAZ to "Chardonnay".
Blue is the color of the day. Omicron is the letter of the week. 11 is the magic number. Standard rates apply. It's the least we can do. Oh, and Sophie has a delicious new recipe for spinach quiche. Join us for breakfast?
Message to: Malaclypse of the TAZ
Comm ID: Ganagati, Nayehiya Medicine Man.
Sir,
It is not the way of my people, the Nayehiya, to interfere in the communications of others; however, it seems that by your actions today, you are expecting my message.
You are eiher a great Healer and Holy Man yourself, Malaclypse, or you have the luck of your Ancestors and Gods with you. The gift that you bestowed today is a blessing for the Nayehiya.
But, I am also aware that there is more I must learn from you if my people are to be completely free of this terrible plague. I respect your wish to keep whatever miraculous energies your Sect possesses a secret. I am willing to do what is necessary to gain your trust, and to keep your secret if that is your desire.
I will not wait for your answer. I will proceed at once to the Baffin system. You have been kind and generous during our time of need. If you will do this last favor of meeting and sharing with me, our two tribes will have accomplished a great victory over suffering and death.
Could ya please transfer me the creds for a new Nepthys to Freeport 11, mkay? Mine got blown up this morning by that stinky Harbinger in Omicron Kappa. No scratches to my globe, so don't go Postal on me.
I think Mama Nomad just squirted out a new one.. the "Sclerosis" or sumpin' like that. I got word that it was flitting around in Kappa, lookin' sorta lost; so I set out to give it a piece of my mind for what its brothers have been doin' to the poor Freeport and its residents.
Just as I lifted from 11, I noticed that its brother the Taurvi was also aloft, and flappin' its little fins from Theta into Gamma. Well, I figured that my Nepthys might just be able to get one of 'em, so I jumped into Kappa and started dodging fighter patrols while I put nomad siren songs out over the comms; but the new one just wouldn't come out and play.. guess he didn't like girls.
My circuits were all at optimal. I was hoping that l'il Sclerosis would maybe come out and wait for Taurvi, and I'd get a shot or two before they ganged up on me; but darned if Taurvi didn't call that big blue balloon the Harbinger in! She popped up right there in Kappa with me, and commenced to suckle her new young right in front of me. Yucky!
I figured I had maybe one chance to knock that baby from the teat and send him back to Nomad heaven, but Mama had different ideas. Baby Sclerosis hung onto Mama like nobody's business; and I couldn't get a clear shot at it without losing huge chunks of shield and hull on every pass. Finally, my missile tubes and CMs started droppin' off, but I keep birddoggin' that little one... right up until my Nepthys was blown out from under me.
So.. If ya wouldn't mind a small loan, Mal; I could really, really use a new ship.
Message to: TAZ
Comm ID: Flax of what kind?
Location: Everywhere!
Hiya. Imagine I ought to provide a name, eh? I will. Later. Ha!
Good thing I don't hafta give a speech, 'cuz I got nothin'. I'm here to hear, here and there, and I'll not hear a word of anything contradictory. Except for that which is. I tell ya, I dunno what I just ate, but it was good stuff.
Interesting buncha folks, you are. I'll be around. Look for [TAZ]Linus.Koios somewhere in New York. Then, who knows?
The vessels required to transport our plague vicitims to Baffin will not be available for a week's time. We are currently gathering the necessary supplies to sustain them during their visit.
Our Principal Chief, Agisdi Vlenidohv sends his warm regards and appreciation for your selfless act of kindness to the Nayehiya people.
I honestly don't know what all the "Zoner Affiliation" fuss is about, friend. I met our newest member, Linus.Koios, in New York yesterday. After he picked out a new transport, we proceeded directly to Freeport 6, in the company of our member Roy in the [TAZ]Millenia.
Once at FP6, Linus had his Zoner IFF humming and ID registered within a matter of minutes. The whole process from New York, to showing this bright lad a nice trade route back into Liberty took under a half hour. All the while, he showed true Discordian form by obfuscating the odd passing trader, as well as his highly amused companions. Nice choice there, Mal. I suppose that's why you're the bloody Episkopos, eh?
And speaking of leading (or indirectly, at least..), I hope you're giving some thought to moving all this bloody TAZ minutiae and paraphenalia out of my Veranda once Shasta Outpost is completed. And please take that mouthy computer V-MAX in the basement along with you.
Perhaps we can all make a nice outing of it. "Headquarters Moving Day." We'll get all the lads and Fnordettes together, and move everything up to Baffin in one swell foop. On completion, we can have a big "Housewarming" bash and get all ****e-faced and small.
I mean, you and the other TAZ are always welcome here at the Veranda; but the clutter and hubbub can be a bit trying at times. Once Pueblo Bonito is completed, you'll have all the room in the Sector to sprawl about and scratch your Holy buttcheeks, my friend. I hope you've included a private suite and offices for Waverly LLC at the Pueblo. I may need to entertain clients occassionaly a bit closer to the Core worlds.
And with the Veranda a bit less hectic, I've a mind to take up entertaining the odd lady here once in awhile, without all the accompanying smirking and nudging I'd get from you and the others. Your old "fishing pond" out back is just the right size to float a certain Gaian gunboat I have in mind. So, if you intend to smirk, do it now, before I throw you out for good, Mal. Har!
As you'll have the Nayehiya plague victims up there as guests in a few weeks, I'll move my regular therapy session at the Geode up a bit. See you in a few days for some DNA weaving and Scrubby racing at the Temple, old friend. I'll give you a run for your Flax this time!