Hello diary. I am not at home right now, nope. I am on Camille's ship, the Vector. Decided to fly with them for a while, you know, feeling very comfortable there. It has been some interesting days though. Camille had a job the other day that let us to Planet Crete, the home of the Corsairs. I didn't really feel that comfortable but it was fine. I was able, for the first time in my life, to see a Red Giant that is close to becoming a nova going booooom! And I finally saw a Neutron Star for the first time. It was exciting, even if the radiation shield of my ship wasn't strong enough and the radiation ate through the entire hull of it. The Kingfisher is currently going through an intense check and repairs, I finally got around to doing it. So now I am here, on the Vector, Camille's Draugr.
The rooms are very comfy though, I really enjoy being here. My feeling of comfort got so far that I even stopped stuttering when around them. I don't understand how this is possible, but it is. Camille is so sweet to me, but like everyone, they also have their own problems. Sometimes, my diary, I feel like a burden. I am taking so much of their time, so much of it. It takes time for me to learn, and to process everything. Will they be able to continue with their work? I doubt the Rogues and the Corse, those Camille wants to work together with, are happy that I am around. Maybe I am holding them back? Holding Camille back. I do not wish to do that. But I just can't leave. It is warm and it feels great to be around someone who likes me. The tarot card reading... maybe there really is a hint of truth in those cards. I am at a crossroads, I do not know which way to go. Maybe the future will bring more clearance.
Diary. I had almost half a year of thinking now behind me. I was gone, again. Camille was afraid and worried. They were afraid I was dead. Could have very well been dead. But no, here I am. Some interesting days are behind me. A lot of things happened. Let's start.
First. Laz. I don't know what happened to him. The last time we spoke months ago, he was happier. Sounded brighter. He seems rather distant, uninterested. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe being friends was just an imagination, I don't know. We will see.
Second. Revenant. I am not sure what is up with her. Yesterday, she stopped me from making a mistake. Did she send Nightshade to watch over me? To make sure I was safe? Or did she send him to spy on me and make sure I am not spilling anything to the Lane Hackers? Or is she trying to make sure I am not falling further into my dream, into Psyche's arms? Psyche.. Kimiko. Well, matters not. Psyche said to trust her, so I will, for now. Maybe Revenant has a heart. Maybe, even though we don't know each other for long, she cares.
Third. Psyche. Kimiko. I am not sure what happened but she showed me something. She didn't need to, she tried to stop me but I insisted. It hurt. My head, it felt like I was rammed by a Rhino. If you ever read this, Kimi, then know that whatever I do, is for you. For your goal, my goal. Don't even think that anything bad that is happening to me would be your fault. My heart.
Fourth. Camille. I hope that one day you can forgive me for scaring you. I shouldn't have disappeared. I should have told you what was going on. You are my sparkling star on even the darkest of horizons. Both. You and Kimiko. Thank you for everything, my soul.
Elaine will make a copy of this diary entry. If something happens, it will be sent to Camille. My whole world is going to change in the following days, weeks, months.
The Light shall stand triumphant. The light will guide us.
I feel weird. A lot of time passed for me since the last entry. Wait, no. It hasn't been that long. No. It hasn't been that long. Time feels like it doesn't matter anymore to me. A day feels like a mere blink of an eye. Eternity doesn't feel that long anymore. Since the kiss, the kiss I shared with Kimiko, everything feels different. I know I am not infected. Not yet. But my desire to join her, join them, in eternity. It feels great. I want it, I want it so much. I desire it. I want to be on her side, forever. It is like an addiction I can't explain. If I tell someone, they might tell me that she is manipulating me, forcing me. But she promised me not to. I trust her with my life. Psyche, Kimiko.. Camille. I feel safe among you, I feel loved on your side. I feel free. One day, I will cease to exist as Cherry, as Naomi. And I will be one with them. I want to fly with them, swim with them. One on each side. Hand in hand.
They understand, but others won't. My demons of the past, are still haunting me. But this time I am not alone anymore. I can feel her arms around me. Always. Kimiko, Psyche. She is with me on this path. She guides me. They guide me. When I look into the deep void, I can see the light. It is shining, guiding me. And finally, after all those years, I can smile. I can finally smile again. I feel loved. I feel wanted. I feel needed. And I fell in love, with her, with them.
The Endless Void. So beautiful, so dangerous. The beauty of stars, the beauty of silence, it is a rare experience these days. The houses keep exploiting space for more and more resources. Their nature, our nature. It will never change. We destroy everything beautiful, everything that is natural, for our gain. But why? Society demands it. Sol. Sol was destroyed by greed. We fled our old home and tried to settle in a new one. And it all started anew. War. War for power. Resources, knowledge, it is power. We run, we fly, to claim what is not ours. To possess as much as possible, to own what no one should own. The beauty of space, of the universe. The Vagrants are just like us. War came to their home. They were driven away from it, almost destroyed. They managed to flee, to survive. The only difference is, they came back, searching for a new home inside their old. How can we be okay with that? To let another experience what we experienced so many years ago? How can we be so disgusting?
The Light, it shall free us. Only once we ascend, we will truly understand what we have done to them. The pain, the desperation, and the agony. To be human means to destroy. To be human means to inflict pain upon others. To be human means to be led by greed. To be human means to fight for what we think is right, and not care about the one next to us.
The Light is the solution. The Light is salvation. Humankind needs to be eradicated or brought to the Light. Psyche, guide my hand. As I have chosen this path. My love for you will guide me even through the darkest of moments. The Light shall stand triumphant.
This is it. This is the end of a chapter for me, for Cherry, for Naomi. Our path ends here. My devotion has engulfed me fully. My knees will never know the ground, yet, I stand by your side as your Dark Herald. The human light of my eyes will fade one day, and your light will brim inside them. Almost a thousand years have passed and nothing has changed, it never will if we don't act. And we must act. I will act. No longer will I be the innocent and cute Cherry. No longer will I be the girl that hides behind others.
I thought that love that light would be forever mine. The beating of your heart, it's only in my mind. I close my eyes and see all my mistakes. A throne of light, a perfect masquerade. I feel it set to flame somewhere inside of me, my pain, my hate, my clarity. But through it all, my devotion, it burns strong.
With this, I shall depart. The innocent and friendly Cherry will no longer exist. Only for those I hold dear and love. Psyche, Camille. I will not get used to the thought of taking lives. But I will do so for you. For your goal, for our goal. Until the end of time, until eternity. Naomi, Blade of Psyche. The Abyss.
Alone, so alone. I have not seen Camile or Psyche for a while. I can feel them, they are there but not really. I am alone. Every step I take feels slow, it echoes through the metal husk of my ship. Click, Clack, Click, Clack. My body feels heavy, my heavy mind weighs it down. I feel dizzy. Every step I take feels like an eternity of loneliness. Do not abandon me. Do not leave me. You promised, you swore. Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to you? I feel exhausted and drained of joy and energy. You promised me, you swore. You promised me, you swore. Where are you? Where ARE you?! Please, do not leave me alone, not again. Light, shine, and guide me. Lead the way for me as I am lost without you. She has betrayed you, she has done what others have done to me. A knife in the back, and I wish to do the same as you did for me my beloved light. Let me pull it out, I beg you. I shall be your new Herald. I shall be the Dark Herald of the Vagrants. I shall be your Herald, my dearest light, Kimiko... Psyche. Guide me, forevermore.
I opened my eyes to a starlit sky. The shimmer of light reflects in the tiniest atoms that float through the endless void. The light, warm, and cold at once, brushing over my skin like the softest silk. Such light, older than anything else that exists. We can see it every moment of our lives. Old ones are vanishing, and new ones are appearing. The light of already dead stars is carried for millennia until it finally disappears. The universe is filled with mysteries and so, so much beauty. All we humans do is exploit it. I shall not be part of this anymore. I refuse. Psyche, Kimiko, Camille. All the others. I am no longer human. I refuse to be human. They will never change their ways, never. Only a handful of others think the same, but I can see it clearly. Humankind will never break the wheel, not as long as they can abuse and flourish. And those that fight for a better world usually become the same the moment they win. We have been doing such for thousands of years without an end in sight.
Even if your songs are quiet, my dears, I shall keep my promise. My path has been laid open before me, and I shall walk it. The light embraces me. Your Dark Herald has awoken. My mission is clear. They either stand with the Light or against it. Those that can't be turned or used for our gain, for peace, shall be eradicated. Alea iacta est, Naomi.
Log Entry:TRIUMPHANT THE LIGHT THE SPIRIT THE MACHINE
I’d rather rule the dark than serve in the light. Tell me how this is wrong when it feels so right. I lost the fight but won the war and in my heart a hole was torn forever, I thought that I’d lay down and die, but just then I began to fly.
The time has finally come. I have chosen my own path, together with those close to me. Psyche. Camille. I have taken my own path, but that does not mean I will not stand by your side. Guide me, forevermore. The Light. Machines. Technology. I will be here, with you all. Until the end of days. And one day, I will be ready for my ascension. The Flock... Fly...
The Royal Sunset, my carrier.. or is it? It is cold. Every step I take cracks as if I was walking on ice. I can hear the echo. Ice, snow. But it is dark. I can't see. I.. I don't.. I can't. Elaine, where are you? Kimiko? Camille? Leviathan? Revenant? Where.. where is everyone? I don't know. It is cold, I am freezing. Help me.. Please, I beg you. Walking drains me, so much walking. A blizzard, the wind is getting heavier. I can't see anything. It is dark. Impossible. My eyes.. I can't see! I stumble, I fall, I lay. It hurts so much. The cold, it is enveloping me. What am I doing? What is happening? It is so painful, please... W-What is this? A voice. A noise. Claws scraping on metal. My ears, they hurt. Make it stop, I beg you all. Please. Please. My head.. it spins. It doesn't stop. It just never stops. Please, PLEASE! Balance. Balance! Co-existence. All lifeforms. Humans. AI. Aliens. Machines. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Become one.. with technology. Embrace.. it. Become.. what you tried to create. Become the ultimate evolution. A hybrid of all three. Yes.. that will safe me. Safe me. Forever. Breath, Naomi. Breath...
THE GUNS ON THE SHIP GO: PEW PEW PEW - PEW PEW PEW - PEW PEW PEW. THE GUNS ON THE SHIP GO: PEW PEW PEW - PEW PEW PE PE PE PEW.
THE PILOT IN THE SHIP GOES: SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH - SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH - SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH. THE PILOT IN THE SHIP GOES: SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH - SPLASH SPLASH SPA SPA SPLASHHHHH.
Death - Death - Death - Death. Screeching for mercy. Screech for me. Screech for yourself. I am ready. Ready. READY. Tihihihihihihihiii...
