To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ

[Flash™]

-->>Incoming Transmission.....

Visual Link - Decurion Sanchez

Comm ID: Juan "Demoledor" Sanchez
Subject: WHAT?! A JOB?!
Encryption: High
Priority: Low


Hola .A.D.M.I.N. HQ!

A job...? I always wanted a job...can I bring my own Rum if I get it?

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Yes, suena muy bien!

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

I don't know amigo, about two maybe three hours a day?

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Sunbucks...always heard of that...now a machine?! Definitely will install one!

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

Si! Soy de Imperio del Corsario!

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Are those los amigos? If yes..I don't have any...

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

Like this?

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

Secrets are safe with me... los hermanos.

Signed,
Decurion Sanchez

.....Transmission Terminated<<--

---

[|nfrared]

Somewhere far across the sector, the transmission reached another, nearly forgotten Temple. Unzipping his Jonny.Rocket suit and wiping away any excess blood and organs, |nfrared mumbled something like "So that's what the giant triangle in New York was up to..." before checking the encryption of the transmission.

"What?! They sent this to everyone? That's, well, that's just nuts!"

|nfrared continued reading and as he did so, his eyebrows moved further and further up his forehead. Lots of work. Being kicked sometimes. No pay. Coffee machine installation. Hmm. He felt something, something he hadn't felt since...

He closed his eyes a moment and reflected on times long passed. In another place, he had once held this role. A lone tear rolled down his cheek. He tried to remember as vividly as possible a time he had been kicked but the memories faded as quickly as they had come. Maybe that's what's missing in my life, he thought. I'm not taking the kind of abuse I used to. All of the late nights forum-lurking in front of the only powered up console on the Temple had shown him something was missing in his life - an admin-shaped boot in his ribs.

Favouritism. Hmmm. He scratched his head at this one. As far as he knew, no one knew who he was. He tapped his avatar, wiping a smear of black grease across the "Joined Jan 2014". There. That should fix that.

Tractor. Well they mean tractor beams obviously, he concluded. Sure, I have worked on hundreds of those, |nfrared thought smugly. And secrets? Well if they knew what beans he was putting in the last coffee machine he had installed, well, he wouldn't be submitting this resume, that much was certain. Nice big black smear tick there as well.

Sprinkling a bit more hot chocolate on his mochacino, he took a sip, blanched, and then hurriedly used his shirt to wipe up as much of the sticky substance as possible from on the console.

Message sent.

"What... But I wasn't done... No! NO!!"

He cowered in the dark sobbing with only the flickering screen for illumination, sucking what sweet sweet residue he could from his ruined attire.

---

Shard - The Faceless One

[Altejago]

Altejago closes his tablet after reading his latest sanction report. "Ahh finally. I got my fix. It's been, what, 11 months or so since my last ban? Yes, something like that... Victory is mine!" he exclaims. Mrs Alte rolls her eyes and goes and makes another coffee.

It's always the same with Alte, just another angry flightless Kiwi with much to offer and little means to do it. He begins to reflect on his time in Disco and how much fun it's been fighting for what he believes is right. Bullying, hacking, pony's and furries; life is what it is and not one thing can be changed. Or can it?

Mrs Alte returns with a coffee, and Altejago takes if from her with a grateful thanks, but notices that she's a little moody. Alte runs through the list of things he's forgotten to do, realizes he's actually not in the wrong so asks the forsaken question; "Are you ok darling?"

The look Alte got sent waves of frustration ricocheting around his head. He notices her screen, and see's yet another discoverygc.com page open, another six threads complaining about useless Admins, unfair Devs and power hungry moderators and a few Zoner tears in there as well. He looks at Mrs Alte again and sidles up to her, "What's got you pissed off this time?"

As Alte intently listens to how the cogs for this community are well past their grease-up, acknowledging all the potentially good ideas that Mrs Alte and other members of the community have come up with to help make this a better place he begins to think; "What can I do to help?". Again Mrs Alte shrugs him off, telling him there really isn't anything I'm allowed to do.

Alte then jumps on the forums, see's some fool posting another stupid post and frustrated again that he can't simply nip it in the bud early to save hassle later, he posts really good and accurate points but in a crude and often vulgar ways. He does this not to show off, not wave his e-peen, but simply to get people to take a moment and actually read what's been posted. He knows how the administration team works, he knows what makes them tick. He also knows the maturity levels of a great portion of this community.

Alte takes a moment to think when somebody encourages him to apply for moderator. He looks at Mrs Alte for a moment as she again is furiously typing trying to get a point across, defending a decision one of her colleagues have made or simply telling people to stop being morons. He see's the toll it has on her and his heart melts.

"Why the hell should these gits dominate her life, when all they do is make her miserable!" Alte starts to get mad, as always, but then stops a moment.... thinks to himself "You know what? I might be banned for 30 days, but that's irrelevant. What matters is that I make Sarahs life easier. I'm limited in my abilities currently but I know of a way I can actually make a difference"

Alte smiles, thinks about this plan over a joint. Moments later he's stoned off his nut and falls asleep.....

Alte finds himself in a Starblazer, flying aimlessly around Bastille. "What the?!" Alte exclaims as he gazes around. He checks his navmap but nothing comes up. Suddenly, The Venator appears and it beacons him to land. Awestruck, Altejago docks on the Venator and dismounts. He heads to a door, beaming with light and as he approaches he sees Garrett lying in a leopard skin leotard with ADMIN emblazoned all over it. He makes his way to the bed, some how attracted to that when he comes to a line in the floor. Bold stenciled letters spelt out MODERATOR. Garrett holds his hand up a moment, and points to a list on the wall. 'Do I have the time?' Alte remembers the last thing he did, close the email from Garrett showing him his behaviour over the last month. 'Yup, got that!' Next on the list asks about skills in maintenance of coffee machines. Alte remembers the one in the kitchen and how he fixed that so he moves onto the other question; 'Do you have a thick skin?' Alte just laughs out loud. "You serious Bob?" Favouritism, now that's something that irks him a little. He thinks a moment and smiles,' "Yeah, I can handle that. I hate everyone." Tractor repairs Alte figures are no different than car repairs except easier, so he nods to that. The last question makes Altejago smile and he turns to gaze at Garrett. "I think you and I both know the answer to this...." Garrett just smiles warmly and broadly and is about to say something when Alte looks at the floor, then at Garrett and then grins as he jumps over the line and onto the bed.

"Let's skip the foreplay, Garrett, and just simply make me ADMIN"

Alte wakes up all hard and flustered and in an awful predicament.

"Mrs Alte, mind accompanying me to the bedroom?" Alte asks with a wink.

---

[Remnant]

*Transmission Incoming*
ID: James McCormick
Recipient:A.D.M.I.N HQ
Encryption: Encryption? Eh?
Message Begins

Speak of rude awakenings! I get out of bed, and my console is flashing red lights. Sorta like a rave party, ya know? However slightly cooler. Because rave parties are boring nowadays. Needs more engine exhaust, don't 'cha think?

So I check the amusing piece of equipment after admiring it for a few minutes, and I see a list of questions from some dude who 'obviously' has a god complex. Most likely the one reading this. You. Yes you. The on- not you, the one behin-.. Ah, who am I kidding. I can't see crap on this screen which reads 'recording' right now.

I'm just gona.. respond to these for the giggles. Numbero one..

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff?

Well, it depends on which part of a staff you are talking about. The grip is always a nice place, since that is where you hold the sta-.. waitaminute, auto-define popped up. That's slightly embarrising.

Do I have what it takes to be on the staff. Well, I do pay attention to things. Especially things which stand out like rave parties, don't lose any sleep on that one. I do quite a good job if I don't say myself. As for maitnance people, sure I can press the delete key on stuff. Clean pipes, mop floors, bug the heck outa people.. The list goes on for days.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Of course I have time to lurk around being the lazy person I am. I mean heck, this Freeport doesn't stay roudy without me. Popping in on people while they drink is a delightful past-time of my own. Ah the irritance that brings in, beauty to my ears.

As for how much? I usually run around doin' that for about four or five hours a day keeping an eye on things if not longer. That's of course if the rare stuff pops up where I must take a leave to the horrid outside world from this console. Never lasts long. Merely a week or so of a mere hour of bugging the others.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Ohoho, now that is a 'great' question. Letme tell you a story..

Once upon a time, we bought a Sunbucks coffee machine for my favorite bar at the Freeport. Well, that thing broke down. So I grabbed some credits, and bought a coffee machine four times more expensive. Took that thing apart, chucked half of the crap outside the airlocks, and repaired the current one with a lot of duct tape. I must be a genius. Stuff tastes slightly of motor oil, dunno where that came from. I'll buy another really expensive one to fix that one as well later.

Oh, I must be a professional without realizing it.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

What do you take me for, a wimp? Well.. Perhaps a few years ago that would indeed be true, however I have managed to outrun everyone else when they get angry at me. Ooh believe me, they indeed do just that. I guess people don't appreciate it when you creep them out while they drink their beer.

I lead a good life.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Favorite people? Are you kidding? They are the most amusing to watch as justice is pushed out on them. You would not 'believe' the completely and real accurate judgement of the LPI has been pushed upon a few people I know. I laughed for quite a long time on those occasions.

Eh.. They weren't happy with me afterwards, but what the heck can I say.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

What's a.. tractor? I mean, I can take apart a space-ship if you asked me too. Putting it together? Well... Yes? I can hire someone else to do it for me, and take the credit. Sounds good to me.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

Why on earth would I tell people of things that 'I', the great James McCormick with no ends to his pleasure share things which would be considered a conspiracy? As tempting as it would be, i'm sure I could hold out for an infinite amount of time. Of course, as long as a good drink is provided at a bar now and then.

I have high expectations.

McCormick Out

[Euca]

Incoming Transmission...
Opening Transmission...

---

[img float=right]http://i.imgur.com/FK04Hwy.png?1[/img]

New Job

6.5.737 A.G.S

Bonjour, A.D.M.I.N Team, may as well take a crack at this, non?

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Oui! Though I haven't been here long, I can safely say that I know my way around. Like, on the Oubli, there's a compartment for custard storage. Bizzare, right? I was an engineer before, so I guess I'm already experienced! I once washed the floors for 3 hours back in Chartres, does that count for anything?

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Oui, plenty of time. It's not like war is busy or anything. Well, not this time of year, according to the experts. So, oui, plenty of time.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Oui! Ex-engineer here. Sunbucks is a simple machine too, I could even increase the output of Coffee, if you'd let me try.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

After being beaten by Bretonians, Liberty Patriots and most other Sirians, I can safely say that I'm hardened to any kind of abuse.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Oui, of course. I may not be a Judge, but I can disregard 'mortal emotion' for the greater justice. I'm quite heartless in most cases anyway!

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

Oui, I spent some time looking into Farming Engineering. I can navigate and reconstruct a tractor if needed. My ability to do so can make an angry farmer smile!

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

In most cases, they'll probably just go over my head and I'll totally forget what you said. Camille and LeBlanc can back me up on that.

---

Message Complete...
Shutting Down...

---

---

[Apollon]

[INCOMING TRANSMISSION]

---

» LOCATION: Freeport 1, Omega-3
» COMM-ID: Diana McMillan
» TARGET-ID: A.D.M.I.N.S HQ
» SUBJECT: Application for a new Job
» PRIORITY: Medium
» ENCRYPTION: Medium

---

Mister Jax,

So....You say a new job? Well that's amusing, for someone who claims to be your Security, I've been asked to send this application to you, so here we go..

FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!

I don't really think that this is a good start for a Job application, although it sounds scary, I like that, so does your Security...

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.

Ohhh That's wonderful *she blushes* I'm starting to think to get this Job instead of your security guy, No.. I got a lot of work to do.... But now i guess your security got his deserved job, to clean things, he told me he liked cleaning the cockroaches...

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

We all shall obey the Admins and Gods, and I *cough* He is ready for that...

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Of course, I'm not in the Armed forces anymore, So i guess I'm almost totally free for it, Also your Security is free for everything as well *coughs* lies* *coughs*

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Sunbucks Coffee machine? Well I had one stashed somewhere, but couldn't use it, But I can install it... But, Why Coffee machine? Tea is a lot more better... *she pauses* ohh well, I think I want this Job instead of him, Yes I want this Job

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

thicker than your Lost Battlestar, All this years, so much pain happened to me, so yeah, I'll withstand whatever pain comes from the A.D.M.I.N.S.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Life taught me a few things, Never make favorites, Justice is above all, I don't really make differences between people.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

HAH!, I laughed at that question, I was raised in a farm, I am the mother of all tractors, So Yes!

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

The Consipir[A]cies, Hmmm.... Heard about those, nasty scary stuff, I think I can manage myself, After all , Life is the mother teacher for everything, But Let's see, I guess anti - selfish nomad conspiracies are worse, Humans are, let's say....week and idiots, sometimes I wish i die than to belong to such pathetic race...

If you can answer these questions in a satisfactory way, you just might have what it takes to become our next kicking target. This application process is open for two weeks. Afterwards, we will select qualified candidates, put them in a locked room (//Mod chat) and then pepper them with questions until we get tired.

Ohh.. Joy, I need to get a box of beer now, That's gonna be a long ride....

Hope that this is enough.

Thank you.

[END OF TRANSMISSION]

[Caconym]

:::[Greetings]:::

This_Unit is 'interested' in the_nature of this transmission

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

This_unit "is" fully capable of moderating_tasks and/or fixing subsystems

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

This_Unit "is" able of_devoting approximatively 5.893 hours per human_week_day to this_task and 6.972 hours per human_weekend_day.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

This_Unit "is" fully capable of installing coffee_machines of 'any' types

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

This_Unit "is" incapable of 'feeling' physical pain/abuse; estimates show this_Unit's shell is capable of resisting_kicks

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

This_Unit is incapable of emotional favoritism, thus solving this_problem

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

As stated_before, this_Unit is capable of many mechanical_tasks, including human-designed tractor_building

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

This_Unit is fully_capable of keeping secrets

---

[7AlphaOne1]

A guy working in a factory , walks by an advertisement, and fills the neuralnet questionnaire. a security cam caught what he wrote and mumbled.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

"well, you dont get good maintainancemen other than a true blue factory worker, so, ok"

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

"umm, since I can leave my job at the factory and take to space, I can do long shifts. "

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

"Umm, wasnt that kind of machine which boss messed up last week and I had to assemble a new one? cool"

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

"well, I have had steel-coated shorts near my bottom ever since I joined the factory, so, ok, I can do"

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

"Hell yeah, like the time boss asked me to hand a sunspension order to benjamin"

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

"well, my father was a farmer, and still lives on Cambridge with one of them scientific farming fellows, so , never too late to learn, eh?"

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

Conspiracies? like the time when I figured out......wait! secrecy, control, man, control"

lets just see if I get this job or not.


//Away until June 6, on vacation, with no access to skype. pls inform all stuff by PM , sorry for the trouble

---

Need some software for FL?looking of a whole database? click here!

Jay's Quotes

TO FLOOD OR NOT TO FLOOD, THAT IS THE QUESTION.

Well, I've managed to piss off Snak3, Ageira, LH~, Furries, Wisp, but at least Beast is happy.

[Venture]

Daniyal, seeing that his questions were answered, decides to apply

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.

Of course! I can stomp cockroaches including Karlotta, get kicked all day, and still be able to walk after it!

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Yeah, I don't have a life anyway, time to get a bit productive.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

I can also install a automated one, and a magical one interconnected with thousands of microchips that detect whether you're in mood for a coffee, a cup will be immediately prepared and brought to you by A.I robots with supersonic speeds without spilling a single drop!

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

Yep, I once touched a rock with my elbow and it broke, the same thing happened when I was in bed with...uhhh...nevermind.
But seriously, I get beaten a lot by my friends, so I think I can handle it.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

That's easy, I don't have too many favorite people anyway.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

I have angry farmers as friends, I've invented the hover tractor and the tractor tank, and a flying tractor that fires melons! Jansen can be happy to have a flying tractor.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

I can keep it, it's pretty easy, I've kept a lot of conspiracies over the years, like how Barack Obama wears his...uhhh...nevermind.

If you can answer these questions in a satisfactory way, you just might have what it takes to become our next kicking target. This application process is open for two weeks. Afterwards, we will select qualified candidates, put them in a locked room (//Mod chat) and then pepper them with questions until we get tired.

Sounds good, I can wait!

Daniyal stops typing the transmission, then hits the send button, before getting up and walking towards the kitchen.

// P.S, returning in Mid-June, I hope you guys are okay with that (worry)

---

A Nest of Vipers

[Garrett Jax]

// One more week and we will begin the interview process. If you have any interest in becoming a mod, apply here. Do not PM or Skype me your app. I am busy with RL at the moment, and it may get lost in all my paperwork.

We appreciate the apps we've received so far. They have given us a laugh, and I mean that in a good way. For most of them at least :p.

Edit: Don't post here if you are not applying for the position of moderator.

---