Which language?

[Strichev]

No, no, learn Slovene. It's spoken by 2 million people, is supposedly extremely difficult (I've seen people who've been living here for 30 years and still can't speak properly). It is also quite unique as it uses the atrocious thing called "dual", not just singular and plural.

As a bonus you get to:

- Understand other South Slavic languages (more or less, depending on your nationalist preferences)

- Claim to be a hipster (2 million people in the whole world speak the language! That's more hip than listening to Neutral Milk Hotel)

- Understand a few words from other Slavs

- Determine the grammatical gender of Russian nouns easily (if it sounds feminine, then it most certainly is)

Cons:

THE CHANCES OF YOU ACTUALLY USING IT ARE NEXT TO 0