Chances are that if I let Maren decide over what I was to eat, I would have ended up with something greasy, something stuffed with sugar. Taking in some air, then exhaling it, I nodded. "I, yeah," I sounded, motioning with her to stand up. "And then they show up and are like 'Ha, you died while eating a sandwich!'"
Taking her by her hand, I lead her over to the central location of the ship: The canteen. When Nancy, Leon, Thallia, Maren and I lived here together, it was the canteen where we came together to talk and stuff. It was weird but comfortable. I was assuming Maren altered the environmental controls of the ship as it used to be warmer. I always had the ship emulate the warmth of Curacao, just like on the Apahanta. The scent as well. Right now, however, with the weird feeling in my bones, I wasn't paying much attention to it. Maren never liked the hot climate, and in our first days on the ship, she was actually sweating like a pig because of it. Later, after having lived on Curacao with me, she had learned how to deal with it. Moving behind the counter with her, we looked what was still around in the food crates and boxed in the cooling room. "Got something," I said and hid two instant rations of potato wedges behind my back, smirking widely at her. She would like it, I knew it.
Turning my head after having rummaged through the cupboards for a while, I looked at him. "Oh, what is it?" I had found rice crackers and mostly canned food. Sadly, there was no blender because that would be a nice recipe for molotov cocktail. I put the rice crackers on the counter, leaving the drawer open, expecting him to show me what he had found but he didn't! In this situation, there really was only one logical thing I could do, which was trying to reach around his back and try to grab whatever he was holding, but he wasn't only taller, he was also stronger than me, so what could've been a valorous rescue mission for whatever was behind his back amounted to little more than me flailing my arms behind his back trying to get it.
This performance became so vigorous that at one point I almost lost footing and fell on my ass. Laughing, I gave up on my futile efforts. "Fiiine," I intoned in faux-offence. "We do it on your terms. What is it?"
Admittedly, it was these moments that reminded me of why Maren and I were a couple, apart from the entire if I break up with her, chances are I will die very soon after it-thing. Moments like these were rare around that time, given I only rarely got to see her. Maybe it was the fact that we were afraid of something that could happen that reminded us of the basics of us being together. I don't know.
I pushed her against the counter, only using my front as I continued to hide the good stuff behind my back. Keeping her there in place with my legs left and right from hers, I placed a kiss on her lips while moving my hands slowly towards the counter, placing the rations on the surface. Moving a step back, I allowed her to turn around to look at what I just put there. To be fair, I didn't think, in that moment, that Valery could have told her right from the beginning what it was. But I guess Valery and Maren had a playful relationship sometimes as well, so she probably didn't tell her beforehand. "Call me cheesy, but whenever I see those, I need to think of you and our first date."
It was, to be perfectly honest, one memory I kept as a treasure. It was more than two years ago, back when I was still with the Core. The Apahanta was patroling the Omicron Lost system, and we picked up Maren's Switchblade on our sensors, heavily damaged by something I don't remember anymore. I think it was her just being a clumsy fuck close to the asteroid ring around Delta's central sun. I gave her permission to enter the ship, and since I had a few talks with her via audio comm only, I moved down to the hangar to welcome her. Then I lead her to my room to talk with her. For two hours, we just sat there and talked. Later I invited her to a date, and that date was exactly at the same place. I believe she told me about her cardamine addiction back then, and that she killed someone called Leere. She was in an emotional condition and I believed she wanted some comfort. So we ate these instant rations in my room, drinking bottled water and she told me about her being unable to become pregnant. She was so frustrated and emotional that I offered her a hug. I told her I would find a way to have her have a child. And I looked at her, noticing how she looked at me as if I was bringing the light back into her life, and I told her I would give her the child. And she remained in my room for the night. She was 27 back then, if I remember correctly, and it was her first time.
Was it a mistake I made back then? I often consider it as one. Maybe I would have managed to escape from the Core without her help. Maybe I would have been able to deal with Yoshida without her help. Maybe I wouldn't have been forced to be hostile with the Lane Hackers and Auxesia back then. I often imagine how the last two years would have went without her interference. Would I be still alive? Would I be on Curacao again, fucking three unmemorable women per week in hotels or restrooms of some night clubs? Probably. Would I love it? Yes. I still do it because of that. But I believe, despite Maren being a prick and a curse, it was her influence that prepared me to be who I am now.
I often think I am bordering paranoia when it comes to the safety of the people around me. My ship, my crew, my friends that are my family. Noel, Sombra, Leon, and yes, Maren. All the bad things that happened in my life, including the very influencing experience of having a Vagrant impersonating Yoshida to torture me for months and causing me to believe that reality was not reality anymore; I do believe I am better than I ever was by now.
As Maren turned to look at the rations, I hugged her from behind, feeling like it was something I needed to do in this moment.
The playful struggle for the potato wedges had left me a little winded. I wasn't the most enduring person, and so this was almost like sport for me. After he finally showed me what was behind his back, I gave him a small shove. "This really is never going to leave me alone, is it?" Holding the little bag in hands, I turned it around. I wondered if we should make these with the oven. Probably would be nice and not so greasy that Ezrael would get mad about muh grease. Turning around to put my thought to task, I didn't get far as he put his arms around me from behind, just holding me. Oh please, God, I hope I hadn't started sweating during that potato fight.
While I honestly feel like the memory of our first date where we ate these wedges was hazy, there was still some charme to it. I just felt like, the more we waited with these in hand, the less likely we would be to actually eat them. Yes. "Y'know, I actually do feel a little hungry," I told him, and this time actually meaning the potatoes, although I was aware that I probably should've worded it differently. And I do think he understood it differently.
We stood like that in the canteen, his arms still around me, keeping me in place. It had something tender about it that was rare for him. I did get the impression that men would rather keep things bottled up inside them than actually carry it to the outside, but the times when Ezrael really was letting that show were rare. I believe that, since I was a relatively recent addition to his life, he was probably more easily confiding in Leon, or someone else he knew way longer. I didn't mind. We stood like that in the Hoffnungsschimmer's canteen. Through the great window seeped in the light of the dismal star of Omicron Lost, and the refracted, purplish light of Moros. We stood there and watched.
That was Maren for you. A romantical moment and she can't say anything else but I'm hungry. I sighed inwardly, then took one of the rations. "Maybe I should stuff your mouth with something extra tasty!" I sounded back, answering with her level of innuendo. Of course she didn't want to have sex now, and I wasn't in the mood for that either, given that death was approaching. She wanted to eat, and so I opened up one of the ration bags and the thermic reaction caused it heat up. Then I opened the other bag and placed both on the counter, as I didn't want to eat the potato wedges out of the bags.
Come to think of it, there was only one moment I was able to recall of Maren being romantic. It was on Curacao, at the beach or Miramar. I lead her away from the populated areas, so it was just her and me under a palma tree in the sand. We lay there, looking into the distance, had fun talk and then she told me that I was her apotheosis. Her using that kind of word was so unexpected that I had to smirk. And a year later I named the GMG gunship I got from Guildmaster Takashi after it. The Apotheosis.
Placing two plates on the counter, I emptied the steaming bags onto them and conveniently uncomplicated we had our meals. I liked the potato wedges rations as they were, other than the many other rations I used to buy from Synth, actually spicy and tasty without being covered in grease. Turned out Maren was a fan of them, too. I then took the plates and the cutlery to a table close to the windows. Just to have the best view at incoming nomad mortar shots.
"If this here doesn't work, I have no protection from another infiltration by them. I can't even ask you to stay on the Apahanta, now that you have Dinah. So this needs to work. It just has to."
While Ezrael was working on putting the warmed-up wedges on the plates, I was looking out the window. "Love," I said, looking between him and the window repeatedly. He didn't seem to have noticed yet. He was pretty preoccupied. "Love," I said with a bit more force, and finally he looked up. I pointed at the window, where just a moment before, we could've seen Moros.
It was gone. In fact, there wasn't anything on the outside except utter darkness. I was about to ask whether he had in some way fiddled with the window controls, as the blinds could keep out any lights from the outside, but that was across the room. "We," I started, though I got interrupted by a slight tremor that went through the ship, noticable only through it breaking the silence that had been reigning supreme over the vessel. "We've been moved."
In disbelieve, I glanced out of the windows. Stepping closer to them, I tried to find Moros and the Omicron Lost star, but they were gone. Everything was gone. "We've been moved!?" I asked her and adrenaline spread through my body. The surprise was big and definitely not welcome. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down again. There was nothing outside. Not a single star. Pitch black. Back then, I had a thought for a moment, about this having to do with Yoshida. Reality was falling apart in that moment.
I looked over to Maren. Was the simulation collapsing? The thought manifestated and I moved closer to Maren, simply wanting to hold her hand. If the simulation was about to collapse, I thought, Maren would vanish again, as Yoshida said she was dead. "Okay, let's try to remain calm. We knew they could kill us any time when we came here, so no need to panic now..."
It was more than a little concerning to see him act this way. Was he scared? Usually, I would think he was used to being in dangerous situations, so him now clinging to me as though he was going to die was something I hadn't expected. Was he that afraid of this ragtag Nomad tribe? Truth probably was that I had no idea how deeply Aphrodite had scarred him mentally. "We need to go to the bridge to find out where we are," I stated, silently agreeing with his last statement. If they had meant ill, we'd be dead. Of course, they wouldn't dare harm me. I was about two-thirds sure of that.
Slowly, he let go of me, and I grabbed his hand to pull him along. It had the added benefit of still being in contact with him while we hurried to get back to where we wouldn't be effectively blind. While we went, there didn't seem to be anything visible on the outside of other windows we passed as well. It was as though someone had flipped a switch and turned off the light of the surrounding stars. Arriving at the bridge again, I let go of his hand to be able to use the consoles. "Usually the computer uses the surrounding stars to pinpoint where we are," I said, more to myself than anyone else. If there were no stars, trying to find out where we were would be a problem. "There's gravity here," I continued, blinking slightly in disbelief. "Surface gravity is ten point three seven, slightly higher than your average planet. That was the lurching we felt earlier. The ship entered this gravitational well and needed a moment to compensate." The more I read the more I began to understand just what had happened. "I think I know where we are," I finally stated, "and I think I can make us see again."
Hesitating for a moment, I moved my hand and told the console to activate all outer floodlights of the Corvo. Two extremely radiant cones of light to the front of the vessel allowed us to see again, banishing the darkness. In front of us, there was rock. We were underground, floating in the middle of an enormous cavern that had been hewn out of the stone.
The cloak dropped, the lights turned on. Maren was correct. We were in some sort of cavern. How did we end up in here? We should have noticed asteroids of that size, and how where the odds that we ended up inside one? Truth being told, it was not an asteroid. It was bigger. Way bigger. I tried to make sense of it. "How is this possible?" I wondered out loud. Still holding Maren's hand, I looked at the main screen. Simulation or reality? Was wondering about it worth it at all? I tried to understand. "We didn't see subspace or hyperspace, so we didn't jump or fall into a jump hole. The sensors would have warned us about huge asteroids with openings, so we didn't slip into an asteroid either. Maybe you are right and something moved us. Or this is an illusion. Can Valery verify this is the reality?" I asked Maren, giving her a flat look.
While he was talking, I continued working on the console. It was slower than before as apparently he didn't really want to let go of my hand, but alright, I could work with just one. Around us, there seemed to be nothing. The bottom of this 'cave' seemed to be filled with water. The scanners picked up more and more holes in the walls of the cavern that appeared to lead elsewhere. I even registered an air current, suggesting that there must be an exit that would lead to the surface.
How did we get here, however? He was right when he said they couldn't have jumped. This also wasn't an asteroid, as there wouldn't be an air current in that case. It would also mean that this asteroid would have needed to move to envelop us, and if that was the case, why hadn't we shattered on the rock already? I flew over more text on the screen. The atmosphere was thin. Not entirely inhospitable, but not something that you would want to breathe. There were also trace amounts of argon and other noble gasses in the air. "We're underground," I stated, putting the pieces together. "Uh, what did you say?" He repeated what he'd said for me. "Uhm, we were most likely jumped here. Valery has the same perception of reality we do. One can't really question it or ascertain whether it is real or not." He thought this was an illusion? It did seem pretty believable to me.
"If we were jumped, though, where is the ship that did it?" The sensors didn't pick up any other signatures. "There is an air current here. If we follow it, we can reach the surface." I figured that would likely be the best way to proceed here. Waiting was likely a bad idea.
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