Grouses. You know them. You love them. Space potatos full of joy and hopes and dreams and sometimes drugs. And they are being desecrated by our eeevil corpos.
I'm sure you've seen them around. Lights blaring, annoying earworm jingle on loop. But the paste boats are hiding a dark secret. It's not just goop in there. They got hoes. Synth Hoes. Poor, underpaid, overworked and stuck inside a tiny ship with that FUCKING SONG PLAYING NONSTOP.
Us girlies in the Hackers have heard their plight and so we reach out to you all. We MUST free the hoes from the clutches of Synth Foods! So deliver those Grouses unto Cute Ship Heaven and those poor hoes unto uh, freedom and stuff. If you know where to find us there might be some creds in it for ya too!
ID:Caitlyn Cross Location:Samson Resort, Planet Curacao, System Cortez. To:Chloe~ ♡ Encryption:OS&C Alpha One Subject:Free the Hoes Secured Comunication for Chloe´s Eyes Only
Good Day Chloe~ ♡.
My name is Caitlyn Cross and I am the Chairwoman of Orbital Spa and Cruise. We have also noticed that these Poor Souls are held Captive in these Ships. We would Like to offer to you the Employment of all of these women for Orbtials Service. Our Liners are Big and our Planets are Warm. We can offer a Good salary with Flexible Business Hours as well as a Full Healthcare and Retirement Plan. On top of all of that, we also offer 6 Weeks of Paid Vacation a Year to any of our Orbital Destinations. We hope to Hear from your Successful Rescues.
Safe Skys,
Caitlyn Cross
Captain Red Velvet Club
Director and Chairwoman of OS&C
For any would-be "rescuer", we at the ENS would like to kindly remind any civilians that this transmission was traced down through a malicious series of multiple relays, which led to the ones situated in the general proximity of the Mactan jammers in the Magellan system. This is likely a hoax from Lane Hackers to coerce the general populace into assisting them to persecute acts of hostility against corporate transports. As part of the Republic of Liberty's peacekeeping forces, we would like to remind you that assisting criminal organizations is considered a transgression punishable by law, and any offense taken against Synth Foods and its subsidiaries will have repercussions.
Crime doesn't pay. You have been warned.
Important:
This communication remains the property of the Libertonian Network Cybersecurity Subdivision, and is subject to the jurisdiction of the Neural Net Communications Act 811 A.S, Section 45. If you have received this message in error, you are requested to contact the sender and delete the communication.
The Landwirte of Stuttgart will not stand for the continued exploitation by the rotten Synth Foods. To think they carry out their vile practices right under our noses with that accursed rattle—we will send support to strike at the heart of the monster with our scythes.
As for you and the entire ENS, who serve as guard dogs for the corrupt, you do not frighten us. We march against stronger foes back home. With the destruction of Synth Foods’ blatant propaganda in Stuttgart and California, we will show the sector that it does not pay to placate these profiteers!
For a Free Stuttgart,
Death to Synth Foods! Death to the collaborators!
The Kuroneko Shin-Arthouse Collective would like to invite all hoes to the creatively renewed Tanegashima Station!
As an artistic collective we consider all forms of creative expression, including artistically-sexual such as that of the captive Exotic Dancers to require full freedom and space to manifest itself. As such we will be providing a rescue fee of $10,000 for every rescued Exotic Dancer (Ho) upon delivery to the station, starting next Thursday (the most auspicious of days)!
Let's free the hoes and enjoy their creative gyrations upon the Tanegashima stage!
Due to contractual obligations the station will retain its trade outpost function. Upon entering the station perimeter you agree that the Kuroneko Shin-Arthouse Collective is not liable for any personal injury, slander, loss of property, infringement personal data and privacy, breach of corporate and house law, or any other dispute you and third parties may be legally involved in. This agreement is mandatory and non-negotiable within the Tanegashima Station perimeter and offenders will be held both liable and made subject to due process compliant with local jurisdiction within any Sirian sector.
☠ Incoming transmission.
☠ Signal source: Free Republic relay, Liberty
☠ Opening video feed...
Sender:Alliance Commander "Cobra" Recipient:Open Channel Subject:Word of Warning
Anyone found to be "rescuing" these people only to then try and pawn them off to the likes of that genefreak that can't speak properly is getting thrown into an industrial food processor.
For your continued well-being I would sincerely suggest you ignore offers from any would-be slavers. Unless of course you want to become paste yourselves and then be force-fed to your associates and relatives.
I'm sure good sense will prevail in light of this fact.
That fucking jingle is a crime against common decency. I bet those poor girls are forced to eat that shit, too. Nasty.
Anyone willing to get those girls to safe portage with a nutri-bar in hand more than earns themselves a wad of creds. I'll leave any slavers to Cobra's folks.
I'm creative, but not that creative.
Libertas ad Convivium
West, out.
message.playback.concluded..
disconnecting..
"The truth's always harder to swallow than a simple white lie.." Join the Fight
I'm worried about hearing about this kidnapping? I'm on vacation right now but as soon as I can I'll keep an eye out for that ship with all those good, honest and hard-working women inside.
If I find out anything I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can.
By the way, what is a Hoe? *His expression is honest, as if he really doesn't know*
Greetings and have a very good and pleasant day *smile*
Kevin Pierce
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