Comm ID: Malaclypse, Episkopos Prime, TAZ
Cc: Ambassador Holliday, Warden Kyte
To: All TAZ
Subject: Sigh...
The recent "Pineal Alignment" and massage administered by my Pineal Advisor should have made me happy. And, it did.
Unfortunately, it also made me "see the light" concerning a matter I have been either ignoring, or didn't want to see; to wit:
We seem to have quite a number of tarnished Pineals among the Flock lately. By that, I mean we aren't hearing from them over comms, and/or are not seeing them flying the Chao throughout Sirius.
As my main job as Episkopos is keeping your Pineals shiney, the following requirement for ALL Popes are effective immediately.
1. All Popes will submit an Activity Report on this frequency at least bi-weekly. If you submit more than one every two weeks, you may get an increase in your Kallisti Gold ration.
2. All TAZ vessels will log at least one hour of flight time per month. Note that that is one hour per vessel; NOT one hour per Pope. (And I do have access to your flight logs, ladies and gents.)
These are not "suggestions" Flock. These are Requirements.
If extenuating circumstances prevent you from fulfilling these rather simple requirements, notify myself or Ambassador Holliday over private comms. We will offer the appropriate dispensations if warranted.
It pains me to say that one Pope has already indicated his disdain for these Requirements, and has chosen to submit his resignation. Doc, please contact me to finalize the paperwork.
If any Pope feels that he/she cannot adhere to these requirements, I will accept your Resignation without prejudice; either here, or over the private comms of your choice.
Indicate your understanding and acknowledgement of these Requirements by posting here.
(Said Acknoledgement will NOT count towards your bi-weekly Report status. Sorry.)
Keep 'em polished, Keep 'em shiney, and Keep 'em spinning.
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Comm ID: [TAZ]Doc Holliday
To: Mal; Warden Kyte
Location: scrambled
Message received and understood.
*prints off a copy and posts it on his bulletin board*
I know that Captain Vincent of [TAZ]Moonstone doesn't log a lot of flight hours but he does what he is paid to do, stay in Omega 49 to watch over our interests there.
So that you know, I've been working on something and you will be getting a report shortly. It will explain why I scrambled my location. Oh trust me, you'll like it!
Comm ID: Don Quixote & Company
To: Malaclypse, Episkopos Prime
Subject: Aye, Aye sir. Sir Yes Sir
Notification sent in all it's <strike>pink</strike>salmon glory is notified, certified, acknowledged and polished.
Dulcinea ran off with some Gaian and has not been seen for some time, updates will be posted.
I have been, frankly, gorging myself on the culinary and vinyard delights of Planet Curacao and later, Gran Canaria.
I was thinking about flying to Gallia for some Pinot Noir, later. Once I sober up. I'm almost there now. Sober, that is. Sorry state of being. Don't recommend it.
But I am glad your rather terse reminder to get off my well-fed posterior came through. It made me..... get off my well fed posterior. And reminded me of something I am VERY concerned about, and which I had wanted to share with you.
I have heard rumours (and I won't reveal my sources; a gentlemen never tells) that some ZONERS are trading in human flesh. Not for rent either (that perhaps could be forgiven). No, for Sale. Sale with a v, r, and y mixed in and re-arrange the letters. You get the idea....
If so, that would be the apothesis of our stated position (I have chosen to use the word apothesis in this manner and shall not be repressed) and would be very, very embarrassing, if true.
Which leads me to ask; should we perhaps be trying to investigate and identify such culprits in our own ranks? Should we perhaps even try to solicit information from travellors or even set up a 1-800 number? ("See a Zoner trading in peeps? Dial 1 : 800 : TAZ : KICK ; Rewards offered.")
Just sayin, is all.
William Stephenson, Esquire, demi-responsible playboy. Often sober.