INCOMING TRANSMISSION
COMM ID: His Watchful Eye
LOCATION: *Classified*
TARGET ID: Coalition and Commissariat Assets
SUBJECT: Safety Reminder
THE COMMISSARIAT
Attention!
"Comrades I bare sad news, apparently Lieutenant Miyagi Akira was found in a coma in her quarters not more than a few minutes ago, the cause appears to be a freak accident involving a plunger, a toilet and a rubber ducky. I would go on however protocol forbids me from revealing the exact details to personnel who do not belong to High Command, however I will say this: It is apparent that she did not practice the safety drills found in the Ministry of Truth's brochure concerning toiletry.
Lieutenant Akira's loss thankfully was not a major loss as she had started to slip into the slothful behaviour I recently touched upon, refusing to file reports and fly her snub-fighter. Let this be a lesson to us all, we must be diligent and ensure that the creature known as Sloth does not overtake us as well, or others may suffer the fate of Lieutenant Akira and next time die in a tragic accident due to slothful behaviour. "
The Coalition lives on!!
HIS WATCHFUL EYE
Sirius Coalition Revolutionary Army
Революционная Армия Коалиции Сириуса