Dark blue mist. We've been surrounded by it for about two months now, and it's likely going to be more months. I generally didn't dislike it, but knowing the entire system was flooded in this mist, and the fact that the sensors were reduced to ten percent range inside of it, I felt like this ship was submerged in an ocean full of giant monsters just waiting for us to accidentally stumble across. However, we weren't moving for a while now. There was a gauntlet of hazardous systems behind us and now were taking the time to recover.
"Heyooo!" Sombra yelled, joining me in the dark observation room. I was sitting on the bench in front of the tall window revealing the aforementioned dark blue mist, which was illuminated by the Apahanta's own blue lights at this distance. The lately suspiciously jovial woman sat down right next to me, only to lean against my side, placing her head on my shoulder. "What are you doing in here all alone?" she asked, looking over at the tiny asteroid base we built in the past two months.
"Just thinking a bit." In fact, I sat here because despite us being all alone in this region of space - hopefully - being on this ship with more than two dozens of people and hundreds of service robots, I sometimes felt the need to just be on my own. Looking out of the windows usually reminded me how alone we were outside here. A thought that was both calming and alarming.
"About what?" she asked, gently placing one of her hands on my thigh.
"Eh, nothing important." She squeezed my thigh, obviously not happy with the response. I chuckled. "This morning, Ezrael said our last encounter with anything Sirian is now one year in the past. It was a lesser Nomad, curiously following the Apahanta for a few hours before turning around and disappearing. Ever since then, we've been entirely on our own. And chances are we will never ever see another soul again."
"Does that thought unsettle you?" Sombra asked me, for a moment turning her head toward me.
"Right now, it does not, no. It's just... this reminder of, on a cosmic scale, how small we are, even considering mankind and Nomads managed to colonize multiple systems. According to Ez, we're now two lengths of Sirius away from Sirius. More or less 30 jump holes." I took my PDA and opened the starmap, showing it to her.
"It's not 100% accurate, but that's the way we made so far. I could technically add the other nebulae we have seen in the distance, but it's hard to tell how far away they are from the individual system. Still, kinda intimidating to see all this, don't you think?"
She took the PDA and took a close look. After a few seconds, though, she put it away. "Come."
Sombra made a move to stand up but grabbed my hand to make me follow, leading me to the window. Getting close to the window actually made me feel uncomfortable, as the only thing between me and the cold below was just a thick layer of transparent duraglass. It was an unreasonable feeling, considering that being anywere else in this room was just as dangerous. Or being on this ship, in general. Space is nothing but a death trap, although we had not a single deadly incident since we left Sirius.
"Look down there. Do you see that?" she asked me, pointing into the mist below us. In this moment, the Apahanta was in a chasm of giant rocks floating in the nebula. Left and right were huge chunks, above and below us just some smaller rocks. It was a little hiding place, just in case something was out there. This nebula gave us the opportunity to remain uncloaked, meaning the cloaking device could get some love after operating for months without a break. Considering we had built a small outpost inside one of the big rocks, staying cloaked was a moot point anyway, as the installation did not profit from the cloak. The outpost itself was just a big empty hull with just enough life support to get an extended hydroponics, water purification system and ore smelter going. We had all those things on the ship, however given the resource rich environment around us, Ezrael decided to boost our own little economy for a while as long as it seemed convenient. He also said this was more of a test project in case we ever need to settle down, to see how prepared we are for such a case. Turned out we are quite well prepared for simple constructions.
Following Sombra's finger, I looked down, almost pushing my head against the duraglass. Below us was a lot of nothing. "I don't see anything."
"Exactly. Nothing. That's space, regardless of where you are. Nothing means nothing is there to actively seek you out and shoot you. When I was piloting the Catport, I was always on edge, always afraid a pirate bomber could show up to surprise me while I sleep. Out here, we don't need to be afraid. It's just space. I'm quite happy about us being alone out here, since I have everything nice I need for being happy. I have you, and Ez, and Leon, and all the others, and we live a happy life here. I don't want to worry about cosmic scales and nothingness, really. It's just depressing, and I know that none of us is anything special. We're random creations in a huge universe filled with all kinds of random shit. I'm quite happy with all of this, even if there is nothing below us and nothing above us. Just us here."
I blinked at her a few times. "... what are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to say that we're all coming across that feeling of emptiness. Very nihilistic. However, if I compare my previous life with this what we are having here, I have to admit that while this is different - and more safe than Sirius - I already had the nihilistic feelings back in Sirius, even on Curacao. Sometimes in the night, you just sit there and look out of the window and think to yourself 'Wow, we're super insignificant' and 'If I die, nobody would remember me after ten years or so'. But that's how things are, Noel, regardless of time and place. There have been billions of humans and we don't remember most of them. Sure, if you died, I'd still remember you until the end of my own days-"
"... that's a bad example," I interjected.
She smirked slightly, turning to me to hug me. "What I'm trying to say is that things are the same everywhere. I'm sure that the people of Sirius already forgot about us entirely. It wouldn't make a difference to them if we die now or in ten years or if we even managed to outlive them. To them, we are no longer significant. Just like they are to us. We won't remember their names for long, and vice versa." She stopped for a moment, still hugging me, which was nice. We've been a couple for about 1.5 years now, and it was still incredibly passionate with her. "Although I wouldn't be surprised if Ezrael left some women behind, not knowing he has children with them."
"That'd be horrible, yet somewhat realistic."
"Come, time to snuggle in bed. With cups of hot chocolate and some cheesy movies." Allowing her to drag me back to our quarters, we did as she suggested. She was right. Being all the way out here didn't change anything, except for the fact that it increased out life expectancy due to noone else being out here. Just the Apahanta.
The Apahanta was here now for four months. Without a doubt, setting up the little outpost was a good idea and not only did we manage to gather a lot of useful ores, hydroponical plants and all that, but Leon and the robots managed to upgrade a lot of the ship's systems. Well, upgrade, as in, modifying them for optimized longterm use. I actually felt kind of useful regarding that, as Ezrael asked me to help Leon with everything I knew from the freighter I grew up on.
But staying in this nebula was like staying in one room for four months. Doable, but you have not the slightest idea about what is happening outside. With the sensor range drastically reduced, visual range limited to basically just five kilometers and the Rovers only being able to cover so much area on autopilot, we had a rough 3D map of the local area, but nothing about the actual dimensions of the nebula, the rocks inside or the closest stellar bodies.
One day, I was hiding in the vents to get some time on my own, as Sombs usually tried to overcome her own boredom by either pestering or seducing me. I mean, I'm really not complaining about the things we do, but it was obvious that she was one of the people of the crew who just had nothing to do all day. Most jobs were done by the service robots, and while Ezrael and Sherry insisted on maintaining the daily routine schedules to keep everyone fit and organized, she simply felt bored and sometimes even useless. Anyway, one day I was hiding in the vents and got to listen in on a conversation between Ezrael and Leon. The latter was known for being rather unhappy with us staying inside the nebula.
Among his arguments was the fact that we were basically blind. He said that in open space, we would have been able to detect threats from very far away. Threats like ships, cosmic events and such. He then explained to Ezrael that while the chance was tiny, any second high speed asteroid could punch through the Apahanta and we wouldn't have been able to see it coming and thus not have been able to do anything about it. Ezrael then said that those chances are very tiny. Leon then reminded him that literally everything about the Apahanta and the fact that we all were here was thanks to us having had a lot of luck with those tiny chances.
Leon pushed the controversy further and further, and at some point, maybe thanks to his rather freshly developed relationship with Sherry, she convinced Ezrael to get us out of the nebula, at least for a while. Spare equipment could remain on the outpost, along with some robots, so that the little base would continue to produce supplies, regardless whether we would return or not. So that happened. Ezrael gave the orders and the Apahanta continued her journey. Yet, it was a long way to the next jump hole.
On the way, we made a stop at a suspicious rock formation we almost passed by without noticing. It was once more Ezrael's talent for finding anomalies in the distance, just by looking at the camera feeds. Basically a bunch of rocks that contained glowing ice crystals, however the rocks themselves looked more like spires. For some reason they were arranged around a central spire. Not too long ago I heard Ezrael and Leon arguing about the probabilities of certain formations getting generated by randomness versus it being a hint of an alien race, possibly nomads. I didn't want to bother with it, so I joined Sombra in the cat room. As I quietly entered, I saw her on the floor with her black cat Mojo. Mojo's Halloween sweater was kinda coming off, so Sombra tried to readjust it and while she did so, she spoke to Mojo in her most tender, maternal voice "Awww, is your shirt coming off? Whore". She then realized I was in the room and smiled at me, instantly moving up while Mojo ran away. "Hey rope shooter!" she greeted me. Don't ask.
"... hey love. How are the cats?" It was something I had to learn. Small Talk. Sombra was excellent at it. Ezrael, too. Sometimes I felt like the only person worse at it than myself was Sherry, and that only because she prefered to keep her distance from the crew, being the XO. Although she was opening up more and more lately. Whenever I tried to understand how to do small talk, I ended up finding out that it is mostly about complaining about things or asking things that are painfully obvious. The cats were fine, all of them. Cat-Ezrael, Cat-Leon and Mojo. Mojo was cleaning himself in a corner, Cat-Ezrael was sleeping next to the holographic window and Cat-Leon remained in her bucket, where it always looked like she was in a liquid cat state.
"The cats are fine. They do the things they are supposed to." she explained. Coincidentally, Mojo sat down on his back, stretched a leg into the air and licked his poop chute clean.
"That they do," I commented.
Sombra came closer to give me a hug, which I accepted. "Any news?"
"Nothing, they are just sitting on bridge and discuss the theories. I left when they argued about whether to take samples of those crystals as the sensors can't get through. Leon says if this is an artificial structure of some alien race, drilling into it would be the best way to make them angry. Ez says that they we'd go on living in uncertainty about it for the rest of our lives if we did not inspect this further." I summed up, realizing Sombra was not letting go of me. Instead, her embrace got more tight. To the point where it the affection turned into a bit of pain. "You're not intending to let go of me anytime soon, oder?"
I heard her forming a smile in her face while she let out a satisfied sigh. "I love it when you slip into your mother tongue." She then lifted me up that way and dragged me to the couch, where she placed me in the horizontal, followed by her placing herself over me to pin me down. Breathing was easier now that she didn't squeaze me like a toy anymore, however I knew where this was going.
I let her have her way with me, which was good. There was nothing negative about it, except maybe that the room ended up getting a different scent. When we were done, she just lay ontop of me, idly stroking my cheek with one hand while occasionally pecking the other cheek from the other side. "You know, this room is open to anyone, right?" I reminded her, as there was a chance that at any point someone could have entered it.
"That's what you're thinking about?" she asked me, almost chuckling. "I would have assumed there was going on a lot more in that sweet little head of yours."
"I... er, I try not to think about the other things."
"I can relate," she admitted quietly.
"So you're thinking about it, too?" I asked her while stroking her back.
"The entire time, yeah." Sombra exhaled audibly and I felt her breath against my sweaty ear and hair. "We have everything we need, so we should really just leave this swamp before the ship itself gets depressed and just decides to just die. Like that horse in that one movie. Who cares whether there are alien asteroid spires out there. The moment we are outside the nebula, we can cloak and avoid any contact for years."
"That assumes that they have no means to deal with cloaking devices," I said, which earned me a frown from her. She moved to sit up on my lower body, giving me a good view on her unclothed upper body. Her skin was reflecting the neon orange frame of the holographic window because of the sweat.
"If they have the means to deal with it, it doesn't matter whether we are still here or not. If they are hostile and have the means to create glowing asteroid spires in the depths of a nebula littered with planetary fragments, it just means it'll be the end of our journey anyway. If the universe wants us dead, there is nothing we can do about it, Noel."
"... I guess." To be honest, the more I was thinking about it, the more I was happy I was not in Ezrael's shoes, as he was the one to make the call here. He was not dumb. While Leon was usually almost paranoidic about everything that has a potential to kill us, Ezrael was not careless, either. As a matter of fact, he always was in favor of us getting prepared as well as possible before doing anything. After all, that is how he managed to steal the Apahanta from the Core, and lived on to take us all away from Sirius.
In the end, I decided I didn't want to think about it. There was just no point in thinking about things that I have no influence on. Even if someone considered this a defeatist attitude, there was nobody on the ship who would have judged me for it. Especially not Sombra, who really did her best to do the opposite of that. Her expression had switched to a more gentle one. Her fingers trailed across my slender body. "As far as I am concerned, we are all alone out here. And I like that thought. It just means I can do with you whatever I want and nobody can stop me."
"The idea of an alien horny police would be funny, though," I replied, which made her smirk. She lowered her upper body down on me again and gave me a sweaty hug. "Individual Sombra Hookier, please follow us ot the alien horny jail. Do not resist."
"I resist!" she exclaimed.
"You take your APM Plasma Rifle and shoot a few bursts at the alien horny police while backing away. They take cover, one of them got hit and vaporized. They return the fire with censor bars, but you dodge them. At some point, you move around a corner and can take cover behind a wall."
She cuddled me and placed her head in the little gap between my shoulder and my head. With a comfortable smile on her lips, she closed her eyes. "I look around."
"You decide to take in your surroundings and realize you are in one of the Apahanta's hallways on some lower level. Your rifle is out of charge, so you drop it to reduce ballast. That's the right word, right? Ballast?"
"Don't break the immersion, love," she said quietly.
"Sorry. You have three options: To the left is a lift. To the right is a hallway. You could also go back and try to fight the alien horny police, but remember you have no ranged weapons now."
"I get ready to fight them in melee as soon as they move around the corner."
"You get in your combat stance and wait for them to show up. The moment the first one does, you punch the poor soul into the face. Since it is an alien, the face caves in due to the lack of a skull. The first alien horny police officer falls to the floor, assumedly dead. However, the second, third and fourth are facing you now and they have their censor bar rifles pointing at you. Before you can make a move to dodge, they fire and hit you. All your offensive body parts are now censored. Even your sweet butt! Now that you are censored, you feel weak and drop to the floor."
"Oh no! I try to free myself by saying horribly offensive things. And I yell for Noel to arrive."
"You did not manage to free yourself, however you manage to summon Noel. He is next to you, T-posing and clothed, thus invisible to the alien horny police."
"I succumb to his dominance."
"That confuses everyone, even the narrator. However, using this confusion you manage to free yourself from all censor bars and you stand up. With Noel at your side, you think you can beat the three alien horny police officers."
"I sneeze into their throats."
I needed a moment to process what she just said. "You decide that sneezing specifically down their throats was the most appropiate way to deal with the aliens. While Noel fights one of them, you do as you planned, jumping at the first one, sneezing down his oral orifice, then you jump at the other, doing the same to them. As it seems, your spit contains a chemical compound that aggresively breaks down the alien bodies, dissolving them into tiny puddles of goo and flat tentacles."
"Wait, the aliens have tentacles?"
"Of course. They are aliens. Can you think of a rendition of aliens without tentacles? Even the nomads have some sort of them."
"I grab one of the tentacles and sling it at Noel."
"Noel is busy beating the one remaining alien horny police officer to death when you interrupt him with the tentacle. Letting go of the alien, he turns to you and give you an annoyed look. 'I'm on your side!' he reminds you."
"Is he still T-posing?"
"... no."
"Then I T-pose him into submission."
Coincidentally, our little roleplay ended here with the sound of the engine powering up. The Apahanta was moving again. Which meant that we were not going to stay for collecting samples. Both of us remained quiet for a while, although I was not sure whether it was for the same reason. I think Sombra was just enjoying the moment of us cuddling, while I wondered whether leaving was really the best idea. If there was a possibly hostile force out there, I thought it was best to learn as much about them as possible.
But then again, it didn't matter what I was thinking. Such decisions were best kept to the people in charge.
