Feedback : Serpentis Collection

[Serpentis]

Ok people heres all my Bios from characters that exist ingame and has existed in some way.

We start with the Older.

The Lupus and Captain Dalen
Let me start this by saying, this was my first posted story on the forums, and also my first REAL character. A Rogue Gunboat, yes it had 40 crew (had no idea how large it was in a RP sense off way)


And here comes a segment id like to call: Bio in images.


First off:

Victor Alexandrov, Merc in a Viper.
Ok, here i discovered that I can pilot a fighter, I got killed by Corsair NPC's and even Junker ones:P

Jared Green (my old and only trader)
Yes this was the only trader I have ever had..

Ayumu Itsuru, Indie Blood Dragon
My only Blood Dragon chr:)Had alot off fun on him.



My Outcast Captain: Lucius Angelo (the Serpentis)
This was my main character for a long time, he even got asked to join the SOB and he did and have ever since then been a part off SOB. Unfortunely I dont have the credits to refit a new OC dessie, so hel remain a Forum character.



Now we come to one off my favorite ideas. An atagonist group, called: The Hunder Directive, it had some promise, but to little interest caused it to die, I still how ever use it in my RP today as the basis off some new RP.


Aiden Hunt, this is where it began
The bio off the character that started my idea.

The Faction idea
The faction info on the Directive, it went to six pages and holds some pretty cool ideas.

Infestation Part one, scary and contains gore
First story that had with the Directive to do.

Infestation Part two, scary, phsycothic, blood, gore.
Second story that had with the Directive to do.



And now to my second idea that took a large portion off my time, and was to be my first and only Special RP request (which seamed to have disapeared and was never asked about or anything by any admin) to get a Terrorist ID.

Metus in Memoria, version one (un-cannon)
First version I created and drafted, this was an excellent idea (atleast I thought so) that just didnt fit FL cannon, so I changed it.

Metus in Memoria, version two (cannon)
Cannonized version.

Horror of Memories, Story based on Metus in Memoria
Horror story based on Metus in Memoria


The Hades Project (Me, Lilith, Seth Karlo, Exile)
A rather long joint story, based on an idea I had. Still being written on, unfortunely in a time stop, since Lilith is busy RL atm.


The Nox, Don Ramirez off the BLS. His ships and crew manifest with bios.
As title says, this is the bio for the ship and crew off the fictional (not yet created or repped character Set Ramirez, don off the Blue Lotus Syndicate)

Bio on Caine Hunter (Assassin for Set Ramirez, also purely fictional RP)
Bio on the character and his special suit.

Nightly Shades (stories about Caine Hunter)



The Incorruptible
The background on the ship, this is also loosely absed on the Directive, it had its spark from that.

Logs of Captain Fawkes (and other crew)
The logs off the ship and its crew on how they are trying to rebuild themselves.



Now that are all the relevent stories I could find made by myself or that I was even a little proud off that I have written. As some off you may have seen, I have put alot off effort into each and everyone off the stories, especially with images to further enhance the story or biography.

So please, give me some feedback and read trough my work, but if you intend to use any off what ive written in any off your work, ask first.

-Serpentis/Victor

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[Serpentis]

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Doesnt anyone have any feedback to give on anything ive written?

Am I really that bad at this? o.O

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Abadan and the Arcadia | Sergei, The lost | Feedback Thread