I know I know... I skipped days before to say something. It's just I was really busy. I can tell you I have improved. I destroyed two ship im a week! I am so happy. I have started what I have planned and I think it will be a success. The guys who I hired were strange, but I am sure they will do the job. I just hope what they will found. I can tell you diary. I think sometime at Clarissa... But my traditions forbide such things... Maybe will I find the courage to face the Gods, but if I do, what will happen to me?
I don't want to think about it. I am tired I will sleep now.
I have been promoted today!!! Admiral Creed told me it was late because of something within the High Command. I don't know why, but I understand. Today was a calm day because I was in ''break'' I can tell I feel better now and ready to continue my job!
I know I did not write much lately, but when I'll have something to say and when the time will come, I will write.
Nothing happen when my shift begins... It is so boring and sad. I wonder when I can talk to my admirals about a something big that will come at the base... They are always busy. My lieutenant has received a new promotion. I am proud of her. I also congrated her. Maybe I should invite her to do something? Anyway, I hope she will be higher in the future. I was doing a little training in the simulation. I regressed a bit.
I just hate this world... All is becoming black. I see nothing in front of me or behind me. All I see is black and black. Slowly I go deeper in the darkness. All becoming dark. The colors, the planets, the stars and everything... All is black. All is dark. I see nothing less than darkness. Everything is cold... I am searching the light of hope... The light that will warm me.
I hope that Admiral Darkbeat read the message that I told to Admiral Reyna to let him know about a request of delivery of the pieces of my family's treasure... I can't tell when I will have it... Like always I don't write a lot. I am not feeling well somehow... I am getting worst and worst in the simulation. I don't know what happen...
Today was particularly calm. It was my birthday! Some members of the 46th wished me Happy Birthday. There was nothing special, but it was after the job and before. At the morning, I was at Clarissa's private house. She had made a breakfast and it was beyond my expectations! After we went to the movie theater to watch a movie and after, she made a romantic diner when I came back from the job. I prefer to keep our relation ''secret'' I am not ready to tell to everyone that.. I am... With her, I want children. I want them to be strong in their future world! I wish the best for them. I think I'll name them by the name of the gods of my culture... I don't know. I changed the weapons of my guardian for the Magma Hammer. It is strange to shoot less faster, but I will lear how to use them properly.
I know! I don't write much as I should do, but I am busy for duty...
It's been a long time that I did not write. Many things happened since two months ago... I know I wrote in white, but now I will write in grey for a moment.
What happened?
I was injured and I forgot to mention it to the high command. How I was injured, it was in a accident during my vacation with Clarissa, the doctor of the Lady.Of.Leeds, the cruiser of Camile Summers. I wonder how she is right now... To return to the subject, Clarissa and I went at the beach and a wave hit me very hard making my head hit the ground. I don't remember what happened next, but Clarissa told me that I was unconscious and I had a commotion...
She was worried and she took care of me. It was my worst days, but also my greatest days and I will not write what happened.
I forgot how many days I am within the 46th... So that's why I did not write how many days passed. Oh before I need to go, I need to tell this: I need to train more. I... I used my guardian the other day and I had difficulties to shoot on a debris from the debris field near Manhattan.
Today was a calm day. I woke up at home really early. I guess it was 5am when I woke up and before to be ready for the job, I gave a kiss on Clarissa's cheek. Oh sh*t! Did I say that we are together? Well.. Yes we are. She will not going into space on the Lady.Of.Leeds But the good new is: She will be at home when I will come back after the work.
Also, I trained again in the simulator to be better and slowly I am better. I changed the Magma Hammers for the Moonblast because I saw a difference. I saw that the Magma Hammers hit rarely than the Moonblast so I equipped my Guardian with them. I do not know how the other members will act, but I do not really care.
Tonight, I do not know what we will do Clarissa and I. I think it will be like always. It is strange, more I spend my time with her, more I become more straight than before, but not toward her. However, I am while I am doing my duty and it helps. Also, I don't think I will get the ship of my father, but it is alright. I will keep this ship that I possess and that's it. Oh! Clarissa is calling me...
It was boring the 29 April 828. Why? Well my mother was at home. Clarissa called me that my mom was there and I wasn't ready for this. Indeed, when I came home, I was about to explode of rage, but I did not. She told me if I found a boyfriend and I said no. Then, I told her that I was already in love with someone, but when I said that, she had a dark face. It.. It was like if I did not have the right to be lesbian... I think she figured it out by the face she made...
A chance Clarissa was there when my mother was gone. She knows exactly how to make me calm and to change my mind. I wonder what I will be without her... Maybe was it the destiny of our meeting? I don't know...
Today, the 1th May 828, Benson, a recruit, Joe Havoc and I were patrolling, but I wonder a thing howver... Why the recruit had a gunboat? The callsign of his ship was not LNS-(something)... I suppose he burned some steps. I wonder if the Fleet Admiral knows this.... I supose I should tell him. It's like if I could have a Battleship even if I do not have the qualification required! This is a real joke. I swear that this month, I will be lieutenant. I think it will be soon.
Today was better than the days before! There was actions. Even my ship was destroyed, I was happy because we got two hostiles on three. Admiral Creed, Leer were there and also Benson. Of course all our ship were destroyed, but the cruiser of Benson were not so we were tracked by him.
Finally at home, Clarissa and I spent some time together... I love her. I want to go in Kusari and buy a house there, but my job is in Liberty... I do not know what to do. I can go in Kusari on vacation, but it's not what I want. What I want is to live there until I die. I think I will stay within the 46th fleet until I get a higher rank than now like Captain or even Admiral. Like this, I would have the qualification to possess my own battleship, but I doubt it will be possible... Maybe with a special license it will be possible.
During the last time I wrote, some again compare me like a man... It is funny because I answer them: ''Next time I will arrest you for that.'' As a joke of course. I wonder how it will be tomorrow, but a thing is sure. I will go train in the simulation....