Teide / Reasoner feedback

[Fab]

Main thread

Other associated RP threads, sorted by oldest:
Communication to Hogosha
Communication to MRI
Communication to Starfliers
Communication to Revenant/Auxo

"Teide" is a SRP project of mine which uses an experimental approach to updates and storytelling. suggestions, constructive criticism, opinions, or praise is welcome.

This thread will also keep track of RP in general.

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[Traxit]

You asked for it.

I find it implausible that a Liberty-based ship has decided to trek its way across Sirius, through another house, into the most hostile region of Sirius - Omegas - and finally, set anchor in the Omicrons due to some Corsair delegate?

Where's the Corsair reason for delegating diplomacy in Liberty?
Where's the Corsair motive to assimilate foreigners they had the least interaction with in Sirius - Liberty?
Where's the Insurgent's interest to completely abandon its Libertonian roots, abandon its nationalistic personality, and go straight into the extreme unknown - Omicrons? To be welcomed by a faction that has one of the most brutal reputations, no less.

I'm sorry but this is completely out of character for all sides involved and just reeks of the typical ooRP motivated SRP to gain an unlikely ship under a conflicting IFF.

If this is/was accepted, then the standard for SRPs is literally "just type enough words." And that's not a bar-standard the community should reciprocate.

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The best Video Game OST

[Fab]

Where's the Corsair reason for delegating diplomacy in Liberty?

taking advantage of the vulnerable position of the insurgents to booster their own numbers and technology.

Where's the Corsair motive to assimilate foreigners they had the least interaction with in Sirius - Liberty?

Insurgents weren't assimilated by any means, perhaps tricked into thinking they were going to be, but it would never happen in reality. Insurgents were played, with the Corsairs promising luxury, but never delivering it in reality.

Where's the Insurgent's interest to completely abandon its Libertonian roots, abandon its nationalistic personality, and go straight into the extreme unknown - Omicrons? To be welcomed by a faction that has one of the most brutal reputations, no less.

fear and desperation - insurgents were on the verge of losing everything. the war was already lost, they could stay near Vespucci and be hunted down sooner rather than later or go as far away as possible and try to rebuild without fear of Liberty or Bretonian retaliation. Plausible? yes. Reasonable? definitely not.

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[Traxit]

taking advantage of the vulnerable position of the insurgents to booster their own numbers and technology.

Mhm yes quite a Corsair reason. If it was anywhere in proximity to Corsair fronts and interests.

Insurgents weren't assimilated by any means, perhaps tricked into thinking they were going to be, but it would never happen in reality. Insurgents were played, with the Corsairs promising luxury, but never delivering it in reality.

Deception, sure. Not exactly a Corsair-like approach for the proud warrior nation.

fear and desperation - insurgents were on the verge of losing everything. the war was already lost, they could stay near Vespucci and be hunted down sooner rather than later or go as far away as possible and try to rebuild without fear of Liberty or Bretonian retaliation. Plausible? yes. Reasonable? definitely not.

Fear and desperation doesn't make a Middle Eastern insurgent abandon their country and join Taiwan in its fight against China, in a naive hope that the Taiwanese will help them in any conceivable way to rebuild.

The crux of the issue mostly stems from the Insurgent's side. It is such a far-fetched idea to escape into the Edge Worlds, out of all places, for a house-borne insurgent. The remaining insurgents have so many options to choose their future in their near vicinity; Xenos, Bretonian unlawfuls, Rheinland unlawfuls, Crayter, Junkers, IMG.

But somehow decided to trust the Corsairs? A criminal empire that funds underworld smuggling into Liberty, which the ideology(Hellfire Legion; The Commonwealth) have historically been opposed to.

Plausible? yes.

This is where we will agree to disagree. Half of it is because of the invalid nature of both organisations working together, and half of it because of your generic, unconvincing points that can be contextually detached and put into any other scenario to make it seem valid. Ultimately putting total disregard to the lore of both factions to make this SRP seem plausible. With your logic I could asylum-seek an LWB cruiser, after their movement's fragmentation, to Malta out of "fear and desperation" -- the same reasons you mentioned.

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Besides all this, I guess I can give you this departing note:
Props for the RP threads themselves, well written and formulated, nice addition of graphics and bbcode. Easy to decipher how this whole operation came to be in the first place, which I'm sure will be helpful to the one reviewing the SRP application.

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The best Video Game OST

[Fab]

This is where we will agree to disagree ... Ultimately putting total disregard to the lore of both factions to make this SRP seem plausible.

if the politics and lore are too much of a stretch, I can rewrite a portion of its backstory quite easily, and with no loose ends. a jumphole anomaly is all I need. thoughts?

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[Stewgar]

I side with Traxit on this one. It seems like you have an idea and you will bend story and RP to match it. That's not good story development, despite what Discovery has now set as a norm or standard.

You do you and have fun with it - there will be some people to tag along no doubt.

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I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather, by the strength we show when, and if, we're ever given a second chance.

[Charos]

I find no reason for the Insurgents to even go to the Corsairs who were an enemy to for a long period of time for any sort of help considering they could have used the HF card of former allies with either the Mollys or the Hessians to escape with their ship and join their ranks instead or even play it as independents pirating their way to survive. For me this is just a "i wanna play it cool with a ship that is unavailable" and it is fine. I would like to see more effort put into it however instead of one large post followed by several more with minimal roleplay or posts with "fetch/scan me this".

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Remember our fallen, we are the Legion.

[Fab]

I have something planned already. thanks for the feedback.

I would like to see more effort put into it however instead of one large post followed by several more with minimal roleplay or posts with "fetch/scan me this".

patience - it's a work in progress.

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[Stoner_Steve]

I personally like the story better than a generic "it was stolen from a scrap field" "we used a stable wormhole to cross the sector"

something I think should be focused on a little more is the characters/vessels feelings regarding the loss of their home. But I do find it reasonable that when faced with destruction at the hands of Liberty they would choose to flee to maintain their "freedom" even at the expense of falling in with another group. Maybe also a focus on their "otherness" compared to the Corsairs, or is the Captain a secret love child between a Corsair and a Liberty? I feel that something needs to be said as to why the corsairs were chosen over other groups in the sector. Especially in light of a crew of 100-200 that would also need to be in agreement with this. (or is the Captain keeping them in line with threats of death?)

Edit: Things like this are also great little tidbits

[Fab]

I personally like the story better than a generic "it was stolen from a scrap field" "we used a stable wormhole to cross the sector"

something I think should be focused on a little more is the characters/vessels feelings regarding the loss of their home. But I do find it reasonable that when faced with destruction at the hands of Liberty they would choose to flee to maintain their "freedom" even at the expense of falling in with another group. Maybe also a focus on their "otherness" compared to the Corsairs, or is the Captain a secret love child between a Corsair and a Liberty? I feel that something needs to be said as to why the corsairs were chosen over other groups in the sector. Especially in light of a crew of 100-200 that would also need to be in agreement with this. (or is the Captain keeping them in line with threats of death?)

Thank you for your feedback. I already have things planned to unravel the intricacies of the story. stay tuned for those!

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