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On Freeport 6, Matthew Grim pays for the last of his crews mid-day meal as he receives a text from his friend and business partner, Riley:

Matt- need U to hlp me.
N Theta, can't get away.
plz go 2 Brunswick Shrine.
Meet pope named 'Gypsie Skripto.'
I had appointment, but now U do.
cool? great! thx, coords attchd. g2g.

R.Mac

Normally, getting blindsided like this would irritate Banger, but not this time. He has a soft spot for the TAZ, and it seems the rumors around here at the Freeport are really true.

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After planting his Caliburn on the Brunswick, he checks in with the dockmaster and asks where to find the Shrine. The Zoner asks if Sir has an appointment, the Gaian says yes, and shortly thereafter, is escorted by station security through a narrow unnoticeable door in the second hangar that leads to the hidden shrine.

"Pope Skripto will see you shortly, Mr. Grim. Please feel free to make yourself comfortable in the meantime."

After security takes leave, Matthew does exactly that, and spends the time looking around the highly impressive creation until Pope Skripto enters.

Not sure of protocol, Matt introduces himself with a bow.

The robed Discordian gives him an odd look, so just to be safe, Matt curtsies as well.

Matt instantly relaxes as they start to move. "So, it's informal then? Right. Well, My name is Matthew Grim, and I'm here in Riley's stead. He's detained in Theta for a little while, and I'd like to apologize about the switcheroo. All I know at present is that He and Shamus left for the crons in short order to attend a conference at Med Force Academy."

"I have their trust. They're family to me, so, in my way, I see the TAZ as my 'In-Laws.'"

"There are three primary issues we could use your help with. First and foremost..." Banger pauses, then goes all serious-face. "...We need to talk about Shamus."

"I assume you know that Shamus is reactivated?" Matt asked rhetorically.

"What you may, or may not be aware of," he continues, "is that Shamus, for quite a time, led the Gaian Underloch after the previous leader went psychotic and disappeared."

"To be fair though," Banger added, "That psycho: He's family too...we still love him as a brother, we just prefer to love him from afar."

"I digress. Apologies. Anyway, One day, with no explanation whatsoever, Shamus died. Just like that!" (Matthew snaps his fingers for effect.)

"One moment, he's down in my beergarden on Islay, telling a good story about a fight 'e had once with the Ska Ralla, then the next, no warning-mid sentence, he drops to the floor like a stone."

Matt's expression melted a little into sadness as he continues to narrate the memory.

"Watching that titanium sphere 'o his just clank to the floor like it did, you could instantly tell it wasn't just a malfunction. What remained on the floor that night was nothing but an empty F-23 Unit. Shamus was just, gone. Like I said, you could tell."

The Gaian geezer's face began to morph from sorrow to something akin to curious fascination as he went on talking.

"I reckon you know what I mean. Those Fnordettes you TAZ had were a true wonder. Shamus was alive. Somehow truly alive. He had...he had a type of aura. Thin, but objectively there when it catches the light. It was measurable, consistent...Shamus even used to say it sometimes tickled whenever anyone touched him. Anyway, to me, that energy field around him looked sometimes like oil swirling on water."

"A few days later, we learned from Riley that Your Grand Poobah Malaclypse had passed, and it soon became clear that the pair of deaths were most likely simultaneous."

"That connection fascinated me."

"No. Not fascinated...it absorbed me."

"It may be stereotypical, but I'm a Gaian, therefore, I like to science sh*t. So, I talked Riley into moving back to Islay to help me study Shamus' F-Unit."

Banger begins to realize that he's monologuing, and skips ahead.

"After a few years of trial & error we figured out a way to bring him back, so to speak."

"Riley and I eventually learned that if we hooked up the F-23 Unit to a version 23.4.4th Discordian operating system, we could access Shamus' matrix file. Long story short, For a single day, we had Shamus back."

"When he came online, he picked up right where he left off, telling his tale of the Ska Ralla."

"According to the logs, to the millisecond, he was all there. ALIVE again, from exactly midnight April 4th to midnight of the 5th."

"After about 12 hours, Shamus wanted to take a break from all our poking, prodding and downloading, so he decided to 'stretch his legs' in space for the rest of the day."

"He floated into his old ZBT and went for a joyride, but he never returned."

"Moving on: Riley then spent a couple years developing something akin to your old FnordNet using a Gaian OS and a Discordian ver.23.4.4th kernel that Riley eventually named 'LochNet', and he used it to copy Shamus' matrix file and spent more years trying to make it work."

"After 10 versions so far now, you should meet the result. Her name is Daeva, and when you talk to her, catch her in the right light & you can see a little Shamus in her eyes, like oil swirling on water."

Banger finally stops speaking, slightly embarrassed.

"Damn! I'm sorry Pope Skripto, Me going on like this. When you said every detail, seems I took it to heart. Please, allow me to slow down and shut up for a bit, and give you back your floor. No need for me to rush like this...I didn't even get to the part when we found him recently-ish and began to have serious issues with matrix degradation and hot dog buns."

"Fair 'nuff." Agreed Matthew. In his mind, he streamlined the version what he was planning to say, into the much more concise 'So in other words' version.

"About six or seven weeks ago, Shamus inexplicably arrived at my little place on Gaia. First thing he said to me was that he was done 'stretching his legs' and that he wanted to hurry and get the rest of his tests over with. He didn't seem to realize how much time has past."

"I explained that no one has seen any trace of him in years, and he was presumed dead again."

"We walked to his ZBT parked over the hill, and spent the rest of the day and most of the night running diagnostics. In the system of his F-Unit we found an extra matrix file that wasn't there before. It was named 'Shamus2.0'Shawnessy'...we brought up the source code and realized it was slowly writing itself, but the new '2.0' Gaian file was in direct conflict with the much larger, original 'Shamus' Discordian file, causing a file corruption cascade that would end with a fatal error."

"I'm pretty good with computers, but I'm not Riley, so I gave him a call at his place on the other side of the planet, but no one was home. My best idea after that, (my only idea, honestly) was to partition the two files into the databanks of the Whale, in an attempt to resolve the conflict as soon as possible."

"This move turned out to only be a stop-gap. The original matrix went completely rotten within a couple of hours and deleted itself. Shamus went offline and dropped just like he did the day he died, but this time was different. This time the thin film of energy that always surrounds him was gone, but the F-Unit was softly grinding and generating heat."

"I freaked out and picked him up, and I could feel the heat build intensity on his titanium surface. It was like he passed out with a fever or something."

"I initiated a download of every file left on the FNORD Unit into the ZBT's system, and when done, the sphere became an empty shell, and 'ol Shames regained consciousness as the ZBT transport itself."

"For hours after that, he insisted he was fine. I wasn't so sure, so I insisted he stay at my place until I believe him."

"Turns out, although somewhat stable since then, he's only conscious 12 hours a day. For the other 12 hours, he sleeps on standby, but his brain activity is equal to that of his waking state."

"Now, as for the bun issue: I wasn't there for it personally, but Riley & Daeva explained to me that Shamus seemed to have a virus, and he experienced a recurring dream where he stuffed his face every night, eating hot dogs."

"On his own, Riley found Shamus by following the signal to Pygar, and there, downloaded Daeva to help try and fix him. To their credit, they kind of succeeded. In a virtual environment that Riley was able to view onscreen inside the ZBT, Daeva purged the hot dog buns and forced Shamus back into a specifically much more stable waking state."

"I wish the pair of them were here to explain that part, because I have no idea what any of that means or why it helped, but it did help."

"I really hope you possess some knowledge, expertise, or insight that could help us all help Shames, because none of us can bear loosing him again."

Banger shrugs at Pope Skripto, unsure if he missed saying any important points along the way.

Matt graciously accepted the datacard. "You just answered my next question. Thank you, Sir. Come tomorrow, you might just become our hero."

The Gaian slips the datacard into the inside pocket of his duster, while focusing his awareness on the present time. Friday isn't knocking on the door yet, but it's definitely pulling into the driveway.

"There's another issue, a more 'local' inquiry that's important to me, but if this gift has to get to Theta by morning, Shamus is my immediate priority. My needs can wait."

"Please don't think me rude to dash, but that's what I have to do."

"Unless?..." Banger ponders aloud.

"Gypsie? (May I call you Gypsie?) Would you like to take a roadtrip to Theta? It would just be Daeva and I otherwise, and it could give us the opportunity to continue our discussion. If you say no, that's perfectly cool, but it's ok. You can trust us."
"We're not like the others."