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Rainer Suff
| Rainer Suff | |
 | |
| Profile | |
| Origin |  Rheinland |
| Occupation |  Red Hessian Army |
| Gender | Male |
| Affiliation | Red Hessians |
| [RHA] | since 29.09.819 |
| Rank | Rekruit |
| Status | Active (819 A.S.) |
| Born | 23 April 797 AS, Planet New Berlin, New Berlin |
| Died | Still alive. |
Rainer Voll Suff, is a Red Hessian pilot, fighting for justice and for the Volksrevolution.
Biography
(Text excerpt of his application at the Red Hessian Army:)
Gut'n Tag Herr Gukel,
you might have heard of me already. In fact, we've already fought side by side 'gainst those rheinlandish Achselhaarratten, those verdammten Grundkurswiederholer, bloede Brackwasserschnorchler, frischfleischfressende Rechtsabbieger I say! I hope you remember me as that swearing Saudepp. But I'll present m'self once more t' ya. Rainer Voll Suff 's my full name. From this day on, ya can call me Saufbruder, too. Since that's my personal callsign.
So what's that all 'bout. What am I, amputierter Armleuchter, contacting you in the Red Hessian recruitment channel? Nein, it's not beca'se I'm drunk like an innocent Gießkannenschnellgießer. I mean it dead serious. My main argument is, that I like to blow up those green-ish Atomschluempfe from the Rheinland Military in a more professional and efficient way. I've been serving the secondary army for many months already. And I feel like a vegetarian Schwabbelsau, hunting those strict Schrumpfgermanen, all alone. I want to be part of somethin' bigger. Ja, I do. Anyhow, I guess you'll lik' t' hear more 'bout meine Suffigkeit:
Born on Planet Berlin in 797 AS, soon after my birth, my parents, those faithless verdant tomatoes, put me into a home for problem childrens in one of the poorest regions on Berlin. My whole childhood was a bloody disaster. Violence, alcohol and drugs. Being homeless and parentless since I got thrown out of that mental hospital, filled by Dorftrottel in white coats. So the streets where my home. You can imagine, how much I loved that government of obese Schweinehirten. The whole system was full of lies and worthless promises. I blame those Sitzpinkler, that I become such a Schnapsnase. But I had to move on. Besides earning my livelyhood with illegal drug business, I've joined different revoultionary groups, in hope of forcing a change. Later, I've even participated in armed assaults on government buildings. Hell, we even blew som' of 'em up. I hated those Sklaventreiber as much as my vanished parents, and the whole crappy government. But after a while, livin' on Berlin, got far too dangerous. Even in such unsatisfied nation, you're aren't safe, as so-called "enemy of state". Finally in 816 AS, chased by rheinland agents, I flew to the Kreuzberg Depot, in the very north of the Berlin system. A place, full of Junker Abflussreinigern. Bu, I've been wrong. Years full of booze have passed, until I luckily met an account executive of the Red Hessian Army. And thus, a new fighter for justice, against political suppression, was born. For the Volksrevolution! I felt so proud, that I had the choice to change something in the end. When I moved to the Freital Base, where I'm currently living now, I got myself a penetrating Thor Bomber, unfortunately for the Rheinland Military and its impotent Stammtischmitglieder of battleship captains. Flying such Doppelrohrreiniger was my only appointment! All I ever wanted was to show those sick Stehaufmännchen, who's the boss. I'm pretty sure, that they're asking to get a Gesichtselfmeter into their Stoffwechselendproduktausscheidungsorgan!
Now I don't remember where I had got to. Ah ja, the recruitment. So, that wasn't much 'bout me actually. But I hope it'll do. If there are any open questions, don't hesitate to ask. 'Bout my flight experience; as I've already said, I'm flyin' a Thor Bomber vessel since almost half a year. And only that one. Ja, I could handle a fighter, too. But even if I'd have one, I doubt, that I'd touch it much. I'll do what I'm best at. And that's planting my lustgerätförmige novas into some brick-flying rheinland Grenzsteinversetzer!
One last important thing: "When I die, bury me upside-down, so the world can kiss my revolutionary ***!"
Vielen Dank for your attention, verehrter Gurkenkoenig. Mit versufften Grüßen,
Rainer Suff
Current Status
His ship identifications:
Links
Signature
under construction
