Temporary Autonomous Zoners
- This is a player faction. For the affiliated NPC faction, see Zoners For the server rules for this faction, see Temporary Autonomous Zoners ID.
|Temporary Autonomous Zoners [TAZ]|
|Date of founding||approx. 809 A.S.|
|Founder(s)||Malaclypse 666 (formerly known as Lightfoot)|
|Base of operations||Baffin|
|Balancing the Chao|
The Temporary Autonomous Zoners are a group of esoteric Zoners who believe that the ancient Greek Goddess Eris is alive and well in the Sirius Sector. The "TAZ" have embraced the religion of Discordianism as outlined in their Sacred Holy Tome, the "Principia Discordia".
The "TAZ", being the only religiously driven faction of the Zoners,
have opportunities and responsibilities quite different from most factions of Discovery. Being a faction the TAZ have access to their own home system, known as Baffin. While the system is safe for the public, the TAZ hold Pueblo Bunito as their exclusive sanctuary. Use of this base by anyone other than TAZ is considered tresspassing and liable to be shot.
The "TAZ" are respected members of the Zoner Community at large. For a time the "TAZ" were a part of the "Council of Zoners" but due to the retirement of Malaclypse the Council quickly descended into an entity that the "TAZ" were no longer comfortable to be part of. Now the "TAZ" are widely known for their religious beliefs and dedicated efforts in protecting their own, instead of their voice on the Council.
Most historians place his "First Contact" with the Goddess sometime in the latter part of the first decade of the 8th Century A.S. So, we will use that date until informed otherwise!
Erisian Liberation Front [ELF]:
809: Eris directs Lightfoot to change his name to "Malaclypse 666", and to reform the Erisian Liberation Front.
809: Mal begins the search for Converts to the Erisian Liberation Front. The [ELF] become Lane Hackers.
809: First rudimentary version of "FnordNet" used for ELF-ish Communications.
810: First official [ELF] observation of Friday the 13th to honor Jacques Demolay and the ancient Knights Templar.
810: Fnordie the Wonder Pooch is discovered by IND pilot Rick Deckard, and becomes first four-legged Discordian in Sirius.
810: The [ELF] runs afoul of Commander "Wolfpack" of the Order's "Black Squadron". Preliminary arrangements are made. Negotiations are planned on Gran Canaria, but Wolfpack retires, and negotiations are later successfully concluded with his successor, Admiral "Dboy".
810: Malaclypse and Reggie "Daddy Warbucks" Waverly become more than passing acquaintances. A business deal is suggested.
810: Waverly assists in moving the ELF's Kallisti Gold Operations from Curacao to Gran Canaria.
810: First official [ELF] celebration of All Hallows Eve.
810: Malaclypse establishes a Sirius-wide "Virtual Creche" for the curious.
810: "Fnordie's Vow".
810: Waverly purchases the business known as Hope's Haven on Belfast Production Facility.
Free State of Fernando Poo [FSFP]:
810: CR and SCRA invited to the Veranda to chat.
810: Ministry of [ELF] Epopts to all of Sirius continues.
810: Nicholas Gideon is "Ambassador to Fernando Poo" and relations with Colonial Remnant continue.
811: Faction name changed to "Free State of Fernando Poo" ([FSFP])
811: 1st Flax establishes the "Q" Memorial Trader's Fund.
811: Shamus O'Shaunessy becomes an employee of 1st Flax.
811: While there are only vague rumors on the Neural Net, most Historians agree that unknown events caused the 1st Bank of Flax to fly into the New York sun, and Reginald Waverly to commit suicide by flying into the California sun. Malaclypse also attempted to end it all by flying into the small orange sun of Baffin, but the Goddess rejected his resignation, and caused the sun to spit him out.
811: Malaclypse resigns.
811: A "defrocked" Malaclypse attempts to help Ambassador deLuna achieve "Peace in Our Time".
811: The Fnordette's "Rogue" Masquerade is revealed, and they are tasked to locate Dr. Artifice, and protect Reggie and Ambassador deLuna.
811: Mal, aka "The Fool" becomes clandestinely active in Kusari, as "Shikikan", "Chijin", "Bo Sun Gen", and other false noses.
811: Fnordettes Dis, Sophie, and Merci continue to operate as "Mercs" out of Roppongi station, contracting primarily with Kusarian employers.
811: Age of Verwirrung rolls around again.
811: Fnordette Sophie Noir opens the Canaria Cafe in Port Canaria.
811: Kusarian Ambassador Fiona H. deLuna visits Canaria for the first time after a chance meeting with Waverly in Kyushu.
811: "Doctor Artifice" escapes, and becomes a prominent nemesis in the history of the Faction.
811" Sophie Noir becomes Manager of The Perfect Blossom Tea Room on Roppongi Station. (Note: Some historians believe that "The Fool", aka "Chijin" was actually Malaclypse...)
811: The Veranda is attacked by Dr. Artifice and the Ska Ralla.
811: "Operation Cue Ball.
811: The Wake of Shamus.
811-812: Two Rituals and a Funeral.
The "Veranda Gang" [~V~]:
811: First use of [~V~} Tag on Faction vessels. Faction adopts Zoner philosophy (and ID).
811: Sophie Noir "murdered" by a Coalition pilot in Kusari.
811: Mama Dis disbands "Roppongi Rousters" Dojo.
812: Age of Zweitracht begins.
812: The Uli Rouge. The last days of Fiona H. deLuna.
812: The Faction briefly assumes the [~V~] tag to reflect its "HQ" at Reggie's "Veranda Incognita".
812: Faction Communications officially becomes "Fnord Net Central".
812: Use of "Temporary Autonomous Zoner" Faction name becomes more apparent, replacing [ELF] and [~V~] designations.
812: Sophie Noir "resurrected", and seeks revenge against her SCRA "killer".
812: More evidence that Malaclypse and Admiral Chijin are one and the same.
812: "The Fool" announces his retirement from KNF, and his return to the "Veranda Gang".
812: A "Conversation" between to Eternal Foes.
812: Dedication of the deLuna Memorial on Gran Canaria.
812: The TAZ thumbs its nose at the "new" Inquisition.
812: Malaclypse reveals the miraculous powers of the "Goddess Geode".
812: "The Fool" becomes "Taisho" of the KNF. (Did he ever really leave..?)
813: The "Resurrection" of Sylvia deLuna.
Temporary Autonomous Zoners [TAZ]:
813: Mal visits Chapel Perilous yet again.
813: The Church of Eris Esoteric holds a fundraising event, and experiences a resurgence.
813: Faction officially becomes the "TAZ", and begins recruiting.
813: "The Fool" once more bids Kusari a'dieu.
813: All Faction vessels directed to wear [TAZ designator.]
813: Faction recieves official Title to Baffin.
813: The Era of Zweitracht begins.
813: Isaac Drake elected as Chairman of the Council of Zoners.
813: [TAZ] assists the Nayahiya peoples to cure a deadly plague.
813: Ancient Fi Fi Foes, The Illuminati and a Shaggy Shoggoth.
814: Age of Unordnung begins.
814: Mal "resurfaces" as Acting Chairman of the Council of Zoners in Isaac Drake's absence.
814: "Gabrielle DeLavancy" appears briefly, and hints at "Illuminati" connections.
814: TAZ institutes "Bafflin' Pentabarf as the sole "Laws" of the Baffin system.
814: The "ghost" of Shamus O'Shaunessy is resurrected as a Fnordette, and gets a new "lease on life".
814: A Two-pronged Plan. (Posts 54 thru 74)
814: Gran Canaria "Dung Festival" renamed the "Harvest Festival".
814: Reggie attempts to breathe life back into Hope's Haven, (and flirts with the Manager), both with limited success.
814: "Mama Dis" reports a Harvester attack to the Council of Zoners.
814: A Harvester Juggernaut attacks Gran Canaria.
814: Harvester Interlude.
814: As Council of Zoner Chairman, Mal institutes "Zoner Tactical Defense Comms" to coordinate Zoner response to the "Harvester Threat". (Now defunct.)
814: Mal gets huffy with the Harvesters, and resigns as Zoner Council Chairman.
814: Reggie "closes" the Veranda with a nuclear device.
814: Malaclypse reflects. (This is usually a precursor to a partial Pineal meltdown..)
814: Council of Zoners discusses mission to Gammu. Fnordette "Mama Dis" is nominated to succeed Mal as Chairman of CoZ.
815: Mal reveals TAZ "neutrality agreement" with Harvesters to Council of Zoners.
816: (There is an unexplained gap in the TAZ's history at this point. Some historians believe that Malaclypse was abandoned by his Goddess, and became a recluse, hiding in the labyrinthine caves of the Goddess Geode. A search of Secure FnordNet Communications for this period neither confirm nor deny this theory.)
816: TAZ holds first official Bafflin' Open House.
816: TAZ institutes "Boil on Sight" list.
816: Mal lifts a brief "Lockdown" of the Baffin system.
816: TAZ announces the severance of "friendly relations" with SCRA for the good of the Zoner Community.
816: SCRA evacuates its Gran Canaria Garrison. A TAZ warship and a Coalition Transport are destroyed in the ensuing confusion.
817: Mama Dis resigns as CoZ Chairglobe, and Malaclypse resigns as TAZ Delegate. TAZ Guard Kyte is assigned as TAZ Delegate to the CoZ.
817: Captain Jonathan Archer elected as CoZ Chairman.
817: Mal demands recognition of Baffin's Sovereignty by instituting a "pass phrase".
817: Age of Grummet begins.
817: Mal butts Pineals with the Citizens of Gallia.
817: "Doc" John Henry Holliday becomes TAZ Ambassador to Sirius and Gallia.
817: TAZ "Boil on Sight" List replaced with internal "Enemas of the Goddess" Decree.
817: CoZ Chairmain Archer resigns. Malaclypse is re-elected as Chairman.
817: 6/14: Council of Zoner vessels, led by Chairman Malaclypse, hold a mass demonstration in New York, protesting a "blanket bounty" on all Zoners in Liberty issued by an insane Interspace Commerce employee named "Ian Collard". The Incident later became known as the "We Hate Collard Greens!" affair.
817: In frustration, due to the warlike declarations of the QCP against the Zoner people, Malaclypse announces his "retirement" from the Council of Zoners and embarks on a journey guided by the Goddess Eris with no notice on when or if he will return.
817: The TAZ, after many conflicts and in-fighting caused by outside hostilities, officially renounce their Titles in the Council of Zoners and return to Baffin for a 1 week pineal consultation.
817: The TAZ, along with the OSI and the ZTC, form the Zoner Alliance, a body which preserves independance whilst upholding support within the 3 most powerful Zoner factions.
817: Talks commence for Trade rights in =CR= territories.
817: A partnered corporation, "ZoE Inc.", approach Doc Holliday begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting and negotiate to become the first mining branch of the TAZ.
817: After a long and difficult road of diplomacy, The SCRA grant the TAZ, trade visas
818: Due to the betrayal of Aurelia Silvan, or as she is now known, Auerlia de'France, an embargo is announced on Gallia, which is quickly annulled since flooding their markets seemed to be more effective a scorn.
818: Malaclypse 666 returns to TAZ after his epic journey through the unexplored southern regions.
818: Doc Holliday hosts talks in relation to the creation of a militia for the ZA.
818: Brooding and casual Klingon honour sends Commander Rajuc on a personal Vendetta against Aurelia DeFrance, Mal uses traditional Klingon painsticks to calm him down.
818: The Zoner Alliance receives a message from the \CS\ demanding that all Zoner ships cease all trade with Kusari. The TAZ host diplomatic talks between the members of the ZA and the \CS\. These talks are known as the Baffin Accords.
818: Due to the increased cultural ignorance of Baffin commuters, Malaclypse demands education of the masses. All ships who are greeted "All Hail Eris!" in Baffin are required to respond "All Hail Discordia!" or be deported.
819: Discordians are hold guilty for letting pirates tax the traders that choose the Baffin corridor for a safe passage. Apple Corps grasps daggers to eliminate the threat.
819: The alliances of some weird zoners misses the point, and blocks access to Omicron 74. Peacetalks begin, with respective parties, yet guns decide the eventual fate of the sector.
820: Long time ally backstabs the popes holding them guilty of interacting and using alien technology. None of the accusations are confirmed. The Persephone gets lost.
821: Pope Skrypto decides to obey the call of KKC's and leaves the Shrine behind, waving to the old spirit of Mal. New Golden Tongue is appointed.
(..to be continued.)
Discordianism, Ontological Anarchy, and you.
The individual known to Discovery as "Malaclypse 666"has been a "practicing" Discordian for over 40 Terran years, since the day he picked up a lurid paperback off a twirly rack in a local grocery store. That paperback was titled "Illuminatus! ~ The Eye in the Pyramid", written by two domesticated primates named Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson.
Here, Synchronicity kicked in. The individual read the lurid paperback, loved it immensely, and waited patiently for the promised second installment of the "Trilogy". He haunted bookstores. He looked everywhere, to no avail. Until, one day, in another supermarket, on another twirly rack, there it was, Part 2. Again, he was enthralled, and his addiction grew. Yes, the authors were virtual unknowns at the time, but still, one would think that maintream bookstores would take the plunge, right? Nope. This new emergent Discordian convert searched once more in vain for the final installment of the Trilogy.. But, by this time he was becoming familiar with the "ways" of this strange new Goddess and her new "Apostles".
By then, it was a different city, and a different grocery store, and there was this feeling....
Thus are coinkydinks, and Discordians, created.
Malaclypse666 21:35, 19 May 2009
Notable Discovery Discordians
(Including past [ELF], [1st.Flax], [FSFP] [~V~], and [TAZ])
Fin McCool, ELF, (Fellow Hoodlum),
Grace O'Malley, ELF, (Caylith)
Wiley Quixote, ELF, (romer)
"Catch_23", ELF, (maurader)
Bingo Pajamas, ELF, (Virus)
Fnordie, the Wonder Pooch, (Majkp)
Doc.Holliday, TAZ, (Doc.Holliday)
Xavier Triton, TAZ, (XTriton)
Popess Concordia, TAZ, (Yaoquizque)
Gypsie Skripto, TAZ, (Gypsie Skripto)
Mad John Rackham, TAZ, (Joggin)
Malaclypse 666 (formerly known as Lightfoot), TAZ, Malaclypse 666 - May he be forever remembered as the father of TAZ - (Quoted by Xavier Triton)
Note: If you know you're notable, then please note your notability here.
I can't remember it all!!
(..in delightful flux.. there are many Honorable Mentions yet to be included.)
|Gas Miners Guild||
|All other factions||
An "alias" used by Malaclypse 666 on a brief time-travel visit to Terra circa 1996-1998, making use of the primitive "use.net" network to learn more about his own ancestry and ties to Discordianism.
(Historians believe these visits account for the enexplained absences of the Episkopos. "He liked to fish.")
In the Principia Discordia, "Five tons of flax" is given as the answer to the question, "Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?" (This is a reference to a Zen story about "Three pounds of flax.")
Discordians have since taken "Five tons of flax" as an absurd slogan or as a universal answer to philosophical questions.
"Flaxscript" is also depicted as a genuine form of scrip, serving to avoid the use of government-issued currency.
A first approximation: In Heinlein's "Number of the Beast" an AI denoted "Gay Deceiver" was actually a ship wrapped around an AI, which was also mounted with a "Burroughs Continua Device".
Gay Deceiver was capable of "flight" into alternate realities.. realities which were "constructs" created by all the consciousnesses that believed them to be real. One such reality became a beloved place, the Land of Oz.
Here, Gay Deceiver became a "sentient being", and was also given the ability to change her appearance at will, through conscious thought. The Discovery Universe has many visitors and adherents through Freelancer and Discovery. Have we created a future inhabited by Cardimine, and sleeper ships, tradelanes and docking rings?
Now, Eris was a good friend to Glinda of Oz. When Eris decided to reinstate Herself in the 8th Century A.S., and found her unwitting Pawn in Lightfoot, She already had her plan in place. Eris would download all Her history, from the time of Atlantis and Lemuria, to the final battle of the Hodge and Podge on Terra.. the Alliance and the Coalition, into Lightfoot's ship. She also downloaded her Essence, and her Wisdom. The ship "became" the Goddess.
Things changed with the advent of the F.N.O.R.D. (Fractal Neurolinquistic Obfuscation & Randomization Device) Mark XXIII Transponders. These 23cm self-propelled titanium globes were also downloaded from Lightfoot's "Discordia" program, and became here "children", in a sense. Mother Discordia herself saw the advantage of these compact, indestructible packages, and eventually transferred to one herself.
Pistle/Whiss or "Whistle/Piss"
A term which refers to a Holy broadside of the Prophet Celine entitled "Never Whistle While you're Pissing".
It's worth repeating twice.
The "Holy Tome" of the Erisians in Sirius. Not sure why, as it's very silly. So silly that it became "proscribed and villified" by the Cabbage population.
Printed copies were soon hoarded. Regular publishing networks wouldn't touch it.
in 814 A.S. an enterprising Discordian known only as "XII" wrote a smashing musical based on the Principia, which didn't catch on for some reason.
Finally, the TAZ had to turn to a growing yet illicit underground publisher on the remote Zoner Research station, Ames, in Kepler.
In 816, a companion to the DPD "Maybe Logic" by the Prophet Wilson was introduced.
The TAZ went from giving the PD/ML chips away, to finding they had created an interest, and a lucrative market.
At present the Principia/Maybe disk accounts for 17 percent of sales for Ames.
Malaclypse666 23:47, 21 May 2009