Heya, thanks for your patience. I've tried not to nitpick too much this time round
Quote:How: launching very small raids against Corsairs in the Edge Worlds.
What: taking elite bounty hunting contracts in the Omicrons against the Outcasts and the Corsairs.
Why: money.
If this is the core of Core (I made a funny!), shouldn't it be elaborated? Also, this certainly gives some problems: To hunt those bounties, you need capital ships first - to have capital ships, you need credits first.
If you want Core to "just" be a PMC, maybe you should write a story with one big client (eg. the old Liberty connection) funding the show and getting Core started. It seems odd to "take elite bounty contracts against Outcasts and Corsairs",
when there is no faction in the game offering any such bounties. Moreover, if Core is a PMC and that's how you make a living and came into existence, you'll have wealthy patrons / Core would be in the pocket of whoever pays the contract - that's something you've left out as well, and a definite chink in Core's armor (as in, those Zoners you should could make a compelling complaint to Core's patrons, and in turn you'd be put in your place etc.). Specifics, specifics, specifics!
Quote:Removal of all hostile threats in the Edge Worlds and creation of a 'peaceful' empire under the rule of The Core. They want to grow strong and powerful, hopefully someday becoming a great nation.
Well I think you should flesh out the specifics of this Empire, rather than say "Core wanted an Empire, so they went out and made themselves one, the end". Why? Inrp why would people join the Core cause
and die for it, when everything is so extremely loosely defined? When people are said to die for peace, there's always an underlying specific nature to that peace - eg. the "peace" Western Europe fought for during WWII was a democratic US-aligned peace, rather than a nazi or communist peace, and there are plenty of other fault lines than just the political. In the practical world, peace always have associated connotations. It's never vague, even when unarticulated.
Quote:The only lawful faction in the Edge Worlds with an Agenda that can potentially benefit the locals
I am fairly certain I can find some local Zoners that disagree...
Quote:The hierarchy structure of the organization as a whole was always BHG Council > BHG Core > BHG.
I'm not too sure about that - sure on Guildmaster level, some roleplay might have been had, but back in the day when membership of BHG| granted you membership of BHG Core, I had no sense of the hierarchy at all - the two factions were for all intents for most players seperate (even though membership overlapped 1:1). It's unthinkable that a BHG Core character back then would propose some notion of hierarchy towards the BHG, at least the way I experienced the two factions.
In fact, if you look at BHG lore (from which Core spun out of), one of the defining traits is the distinct lack of a hierarchy within the organization, save for a guild master that is more of an administrator than a leader of minions.
Quote:Though I've always felt that general attitudes across Sirius is that Bounty Hunters are the scummiest of the scummiest, partially (or maybe mostly?) due to them recruiting criminals into the faction.
If you look at how some of the most prolific bounty hunters have been roleplayed, they've been more or less the knights in shining armor. True, there's some ambiguity to the role, but in reality
most players opt for a clean-cut hunter; which to me is absolutely fine, even though I of course play a scumbag. Either way, it's for BHG players to decide, and most definitely not for the Core...
Quote:Either way that would not benefit The Core by being dragged down by such reputation.
I also think it's problematic that you make defining assumptions on behalf of the BHG in this document. To my understanding, as an at times fairly avid BHG player, the Bounty Hunters Guild have an EXTREMELY upstanding reputation with many, many years of stellar service to the houses. Heck, they are preregistered on lawful boards - their reputation is so positive that they are allowed entry on the boards on face value
alone. But that's to change because Lyth wants an empire and a ship line? There's some of these "oversights" in your document, and I think it is absolutely impassable as a legitimate piece of lore paper as long as they are there.
Leave BHG and any and all assumptions regarding them totally out of this draft, that's not for Core to influence or manipulate at all.
Quote:On the outside we like to act as noble Paladins of justice who work towards the greater good, but inside we're far more cruel and cold in our methodology
Those Zoners you've been pewing probably disagree on your views on "the greater good". Flesh out this greater good, what is it that Core wants
exactly, rather than use bland and vague terms. Again what is this greater good exactly, when it requires Core to have hidden agendas when it comes to methodology?
Quote:Understandable, it is somewhat like walking in a room full of mousetraps when writing something like this, however I assure you Impy and I have been working together on this.
No offense, but it's a terrible idea to have a work-like relationship with your friends, you don't get that needed balance because other interests are at play. I think you should open it up more to the general public or not choose to cooperate with a faction leader who, and again pardon my bluntness, mostly have served as an obstacle to the BHG| since a bunch of players tried to revitalize the faction and he said he was the leader (even though there were seasoned BHG| vets in there). The amount of pushing and shoving we had to do to even get a faction page thrown up on the forum, and to open recruitment - which I am still not entirely sure has opened. I wouldn't say Impy's mandate is all that justified, to be frank, but you yourself forced us to just roll with everything because you - as you said - don't care about stealing Mantas when there's no official BHG faction to stop you. I'm not assured.
Quote:If you could outline all those 'power-grabs' exactly and limits that have been 'overstepped', that would be appreciated.
Thank you. It's in the offset, Lyth. Do you remember your first response when I opened the Dance of the Mantas on skype, about the void of a BHG official faction and the position it put Core in? That worries me a lot, because I think you were being absolutely honest, even though you did back-pedal a little later.
Look at your faction description. It is
solely about dividing assets. We understand that Core and APM is one and the same, and that APM holds the rights over Mantas and such. What we don't know is who Core are, and what they really want. Your focus has - from start to end - been on the assets, not on developing the faction and making it come to life.
Everything is described top-down: APM did this, leadership did that, Empire ensued. If you were serious, you would have gone about it the other way: What goes through the mind of an average Joe when he signs up for the Core? Why would he want to? What does the world look like through his eyes, and what influence did those views have on the decision to join the Core? What alternative does Core ofter to the current day Omicrons? What is the Core utopia that people are willing to die for?
Personally I'd much prefered a story about the filth and corruption in the Omicrons; an anti-thesis to the Zoner story of freedom from House tyranny. The other side of the coin where lawlessness rules; where Outcasts and Corsairs fraternize on Zoner installations, where ethically questionable research is conducted, and where selfishness and greed is the norm. A story about how Core are hyper-vigilantes on a moral crusade - a story in which they are noble paladins on a quest for order in the Omicron chaos when viewed from one angle, and brutal and oppressive fascists when viewed from another.
Elaborate on that contrast, put it into words directly. Maybe even create some totalitarian symbols and flesh out an ideology a little bit - not something overly intricate, just some things to support the story. I'd like a story linked much more to character drama, rather than static things like who has ownership of the Manta. There's a lot of different directions you could take the story in.
This story is totally void of anything vibrant or "living", it's a super static story that is structured completely around the (BHG!) assets.
Now why do that if you weren't interested in having the rights to the Manta? Is this
really the "best" angle to tell the Core story from?
To further add to it, the "oversights" you make on behalf of the BHG aids the Core agenda (what a surprise). You try to put a hierarchical structure in place with Core on top as if that's how it's always been, the way you portray the BHG reputation, and that it is crucial to you that APM and Core are so closely intertwined that by all intents and purposes, the Manta is a Core ship rather than a BHG ship. Your entire write-up is about how that ship tech cell belongs to you, and not much else.
If you weren't interested in power and just wanted to make a really cool faction, I am certain you would do it differently.
Good day!
If the faction write-up had been so absolutely amazing that BHG could go take a hike, I wouldn't care if Core encroached on BHG stuff. On the same note, I wouldn't care how bad the write-up is if Core stayed away from BHG and all that was and is BHG's. It's when Core oversteps those limits it becomes a problem, and that seems to be the 